THE Best Divorce Letter Ever
Dear wife:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell.
Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don't try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband,
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
It's true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been.
I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.
I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me.
So take care.
Signed,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S.. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a
problem.
______________________________________
Don’t Lie to Mama
Peter invited his mother for dinner, during the course of the meal; his mother couldn't help but notice how lovely Peter's flat mate, Joanne, was.
She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Peter and his flat mate than met the eye.
Reading his mum's thoughts, Peter volunteered, 'I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Joanne & I are just flat mates'.
About a week later, Joanne came to Peter saying, 'Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the frying pan, you don't suppose she took it do you?
'Well I doubt it, but I'll e-mail her just to be sure' said Peter.
So he sat down and wrote
DEAR MOTHER,
I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU 'DID' TAKE THE FRYING PAN FROM MY HOUSE. I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU 'DID NOT' TAKE THE FRYING PAN BUT THE FACT REMAINS THAT IT HAS BEEN MISSING EVER SINCE YOU WERE HERE FOR DINNER.
LOVE PETER
Several days later, Peter received an email from his mother which read
DEAR SON,
I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU 'DO' SLEEP WITH JOANNE, AND I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU 'DO NOT' SLEEP WITH JOANNE, BUT THE FACT REMAINS THAT IF SHE WAS SLEEPING IN HER OWN BED, SHE WOULD HAVE FOUND THE FRYING PAN BY NOW.
LOVE MUM
Lesson of the day,
NEVER LIE TO YOUR MOTHER
________________________________
Hookers
A woman and her son were taking a cab in New York City. It was raining and all the hookers were standing under the awnings.
"Mommy," said the little boy, "what are all those ladies doing?"
"They're waiting for their husbands to get off of work," she replied.
The cabbie turns around and says, "Geez lady, why don't you tell him the truth? They're hookers. They have sex with men for money."
The little boy's eyes get wide and he says, "Is that true, mommy?" His mother, glaring at the cabbie, answers in the affirmative.
After a few minutes, the kid asks, "Mommy what happens to the babies those ladies have?"
"They mostly become cab drivers," she replied.
___________________________________
And the last quote of the day……
Quote of the day: Behold the Woman
"Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit."
__________________________________
Happy Labor Day Weekend everyone!! Our big county fair started today so we'll be there all week with beeeeutiful weather.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Friday, August 28, 2009
Some Friday Funnies to brighten the weekend
Wow. This week in the blog world seems to be very dark. It seems like on every blog, someone (or animal)has gotten hurt, or there has been a loss of some sort. So here are some funnies that I hope will bring even a little smile to someone's lips.
The Candy with the Holes in the Middle
The children began to identify the flavors by their color:
Red......................Cherry
Yellow...............Lemon
Green..................Lime
Orange .................Orange
Finally the teacher gave them all HONEY lifesavers. None
of the children could identify the taste.
The teacher said, 'I will give you all a clue. It's what your
mother may sometimes call your father.'
One little girl looked up in horror, spit her lifesaver out and
yelled, 'Oh my God! They're ass-holes!
The teacher had to leave the room!
________________________________________________
Great Ride
Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, 'Esther, I'd like to ride in that helicopter.'
Esther always replied, 'I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars'.
One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris said, 'Esther, I'm 85 years old.
If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance.'
To this, Esther replied, 'Morris that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars.'
The pilot overheard the couple and said, 'Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don't say a word I won't charge you a penny! But if you say one word it's fifty dollars.'
Morris and Esther agreed and up they went.
The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard.
He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, but still not a word.
When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, 'By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!'
Morris replied, 'Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Esther fell out, but you know, fifty dollars is fifty dollars!'
_____________________________________
How about some humor about some politicians now.
A DC airport ticket agent offers some examples of 'why' our country is in trouble!
1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)
2 I got a call from a Kansas Congressman's (Moore) staffer (Howard Bauleke), who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, and then he interrupted me with, ''I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but
Capetown is in Massachusetts .''
Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, '' Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa ''
his response -- click.
3. A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders) called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.
He replied, 'don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!'' (OMG)
4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife (Landra Reid) who asked, ''Is it possible to see England from Canada?''
I said, ''No.''
She said, ''But they look so close on the map.'' (OMG, again!)
5. An aide for a cabinet member (Janet Napolitano) once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. I pulled up the reservation and noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, ''I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time.'' (Aghhhh)
6. An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m., and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m.
I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.
7. A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked, ''Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?'' I said, 'No, why do you ask?'
He replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!''
After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, Ca. is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on his luggage.
8. A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, ''Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?''
9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright (D) from Ala who asked, ''How do I know which plane to get on?''
I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.''
10. Senator Dianne Feinstein (D) called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, Florida. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?''
I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, FL on a commuter plane.
She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''
11. Mary Landrieu (D) La. Senator called and had a question about the documents she needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa. 'Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those.''
I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa. When I told her this she said, ''Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!''
12. A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler) called to make reservations, ''I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York .''
I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the name of the town?''
'Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the man.
After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, sir, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a rhino anywhere."
''The man retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!''
So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You don't mean Buffalo , do you?''
The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.''
Now you know why the Government is in the shape that it's in!
Could anyone be this DUMB?
YES, THEY WALK AMONG US, ARE IN POLITICS, AND THEY CONTINUE TO REED.
__________________________________
I don't write it, I just offer it for your consideration. Like manure, you just gotta spread it around.
Hope everyone has a good weekend and better week next week.
The Candy with the Holes in the Middle
The children began to identify the flavors by their color:
Red......................Cherry
Yellow...............Lemon
Green..................Lime
Orange .................Orange
Finally the teacher gave them all HONEY lifesavers. None
of the children could identify the taste.
The teacher said, 'I will give you all a clue. It's what your
mother may sometimes call your father.'
One little girl looked up in horror, spit her lifesaver out and
yelled, 'Oh my God! They're ass-holes!
The teacher had to leave the room!
________________________________________________
Great Ride
Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, 'Esther, I'd like to ride in that helicopter.'
Esther always replied, 'I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars'.
One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris said, 'Esther, I'm 85 years old.
If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance.'
To this, Esther replied, 'Morris that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars.'
The pilot overheard the couple and said, 'Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don't say a word I won't charge you a penny! But if you say one word it's fifty dollars.'
Morris and Esther agreed and up they went.
The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard.
He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, but still not a word.
When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, 'By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!'
Morris replied, 'Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Esther fell out, but you know, fifty dollars is fifty dollars!'
_____________________________________
How about some humor about some politicians now.
A DC airport ticket agent offers some examples of 'why' our country is in trouble!
1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)
2 I got a call from a Kansas Congressman's (Moore) staffer (Howard Bauleke), who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, and then he interrupted me with, ''I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but
Capetown is in Massachusetts .''
Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, '' Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa ''
his response -- click.
3. A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders) called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.
He replied, 'don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!'' (OMG)
4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife (Landra Reid) who asked, ''Is it possible to see England from Canada?''
I said, ''No.''
She said, ''But they look so close on the map.'' (OMG, again!)
5. An aide for a cabinet member (Janet Napolitano) once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. I pulled up the reservation and noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, ''I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time.'' (Aghhhh)
6. An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m., and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m.
I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.
7. A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked, ''Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?'' I said, 'No, why do you ask?'
He replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!''
After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, Ca. is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on his luggage.
8. A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, ''Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?''
9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright (D) from Ala who asked, ''How do I know which plane to get on?''
I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.''
10. Senator Dianne Feinstein (D) called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, Florida. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?''
I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, FL on a commuter plane.
She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''
11. Mary Landrieu (D) La. Senator called and had a question about the documents she needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa. 'Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those.''
I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa. When I told her this she said, ''Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!''
12. A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler) called to make reservations, ''I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York .''
I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the name of the town?''
'Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the man.
After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, sir, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a rhino anywhere."
''The man retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!''
So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You don't mean Buffalo , do you?''
The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.''
Now you know why the Government is in the shape that it's in!
Could anyone be this DUMB?
YES, THEY WALK AMONG US, ARE IN POLITICS, AND THEY CONTINUE TO REED.
__________________________________
I don't write it, I just offer it for your consideration. Like manure, you just gotta spread it around.
Hope everyone has a good weekend and better week next week.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
And the winner is.......
.....Miss Lisa at Laughing Orca Ranch!!!! By default of being the only one to attempt to answer, but also for getting a wonderful 11 answers right, thank you Lisa for being a sport and attempting my quiz. Just let me know which prize you'd like to claim and I will attempt to get it to you asap.
Here are the answers:
1. 8
2. 2 horses, 3 dogs and 3 fish (I forgot I never posted about the black algae eater we acquired a few months back).
3. Our 161 lb mastiff/akita's nickname is....big dog
4. Favorite breed - good answer Lisa, I've always liked Fjords too
5. ezra_pandora for my google name, and basically all my email addresses too, was from my first dog, a chow/boarder collie mix. We were playing with her at the humane society when she was a puppy and I had to have her. Ezra just popped into my head, even though it's a boys name, although I argue because aside from Joshua and a few other biblical names, I don't think there are hardly any boys names compared to the endless girls names that end with "a" or the "uh" sound. Contrary to popular belief, she was NOT named after the band Better Than Ezra, which I had not heard of at the time. Anyhow. I decided to give her a middle name and pandora's box was always my favorite mythology tale. So there you have it!
6. Sonny's Hot and Sassie
7. A purple knitted hat (from Lisa) and Ouchies (from Funky Monkey), and English Toffee
8. A dapple gray angel horse
9. Two. A Black Widow and my Paint Horse mare
10. My 57 Cadillac
11. I posted around last Halloween about some of the scary or ESP or ghostly experiences that have happened in my family from my grandma dreaming of my uncle's death, to a light in our living room turning on, to toys turning on in my boys' bed to the rocking chair in my mom's room moving across the room.
12. Sharp Shooter Award for his astounding sniper skills
13. Las Vegas at the Little Church of the West
14. everyone knows you're from Ohio if you go to the Cracker Barrel in the South and order toast.
15. A Picture is worth 1000 words in this case:
Isn't that a beauty?? Aren't the Percherons absolutely breathtaking? I love them so much. We went to the free fair this past weekend and the barn owner's son was asked to drive the horse drawn hearse with two of their black Percheron in the parade. Then a little later in the parade was the barn owner in a Shriner carriage with two more black Percheron.
Before that parade, I didn't know the barn owner was a Shriner and has been for 48 years, I believe he said. In the 2 hour parade, over 1/2 the parade was Shriner's from all over the country. I'm going to do a separate post because I never knew too much about Shriners, but I'll go into that when I post about the parade. Some neat stuff in there.
So there you have it! The answers to my insignificant little post that Lisa was kind enough to try to answer and win herself a prize for my 100th post :) But she hasn't told me yet what she would like, so I'm waiting for that :)
Here are the answers:
1. 8
2. 2 horses, 3 dogs and 3 fish (I forgot I never posted about the black algae eater we acquired a few months back).
3. Our 161 lb mastiff/akita's nickname is....big dog
4. Favorite breed - good answer Lisa, I've always liked Fjords too
5. ezra_pandora for my google name, and basically all my email addresses too, was from my first dog, a chow/boarder collie mix. We were playing with her at the humane society when she was a puppy and I had to have her. Ezra just popped into my head, even though it's a boys name, although I argue because aside from Joshua and a few other biblical names, I don't think there are hardly any boys names compared to the endless girls names that end with "a" or the "uh" sound. Contrary to popular belief, she was NOT named after the band Better Than Ezra, which I had not heard of at the time. Anyhow. I decided to give her a middle name and pandora's box was always my favorite mythology tale. So there you have it!
6. Sonny's Hot and Sassie
7. A purple knitted hat (from Lisa) and Ouchies (from Funky Monkey), and English Toffee
8. A dapple gray angel horse
9. Two. A Black Widow and my Paint Horse mare
10. My 57 Cadillac
11. I posted around last Halloween about some of the scary or ESP or ghostly experiences that have happened in my family from my grandma dreaming of my uncle's death, to a light in our living room turning on, to toys turning on in my boys' bed to the rocking chair in my mom's room moving across the room.
12. Sharp Shooter Award for his astounding sniper skills
13. Las Vegas at the Little Church of the West
14. everyone knows you're from Ohio if you go to the Cracker Barrel in the South and order toast.
15. A Picture is worth 1000 words in this case:
Isn't that a beauty?? Aren't the Percherons absolutely breathtaking? I love them so much. We went to the free fair this past weekend and the barn owner's son was asked to drive the horse drawn hearse with two of their black Percheron in the parade. Then a little later in the parade was the barn owner in a Shriner carriage with two more black Percheron.
Before that parade, I didn't know the barn owner was a Shriner and has been for 48 years, I believe he said. In the 2 hour parade, over 1/2 the parade was Shriner's from all over the country. I'm going to do a separate post because I never knew too much about Shriners, but I'll go into that when I post about the parade. Some neat stuff in there.
So there you have it! The answers to my insignificant little post that Lisa was kind enough to try to answer and win herself a prize for my 100th post :) But she hasn't told me yet what she would like, so I'm waiting for that :)
Thursday, August 13, 2009
100 Posts...and maybe a prize
I cannot believe I've made it to 100 posts and have had almost 2000 visits. Whoda thunk I could have anything interesting to say? Not me, that's for sure. I'd like to thank Mrs. Mom for getting me into this fine mess. I wouldn't give up my blogging experience for the world. I will say that I've met some really cool people and thankfully no nasty ones (at least not directed to me personally) yet. Between advice, help and some laughs, it's been a great experience.
So in celebration of my 100 posts about the wacky wonders that go through my mind, and those nice enough to attempt to follow, I'd like to offer a little quiz with the end result being a little gift. I have in mind to let the winner pick one of three things I may have to offer. One is homemade, the other two are not, but delicious all the same.
So without further ado, here are the rules. I have 15 questions and all but 2 of the answers can be found somewhere in the 100 posts on my blog. The winner will be the first person to answer all 15 questions right. If by chance no one gets all 15 right, then the person who gets the most right wins. If by chance more than one person gets the same number right and there is a tie, I may consider using just the first person who got the highest number, or I might do two prizes. If it gets to be more than two, then I'll just have to do a drawing of the people who tied for the highest number. Sound fair? If not, let me know, 'cause I'm all about trying to be fair.
Last Rule: The cutoff for answers will be Monday, August 17, 2009 at midnight. (midnight as in between Mon. and Tues., just to clarify)
Here goes:
1. How many pets do I CURRENTLY have? (clue - the side bar is NOT current)
2. What are they?
3. What is the nickname we've given our dog, the Mastiff/Akita?
4. What is your favorite breed of horse and why?
5. What is your best guess at why I chose my google name of ezra_pandora.
6. What is my paint mare's registered name?
7. What 3 gifts/prizes have I gotten/won from online blogs and from whom?
8. What tops my Christmas tree?
9. How many tattoos do I have and what are they?
10. What big ticket item did I once buy at a flea market?
11. Briefly describe my one my(or my family's) ghostly experiences.
12. What award did my nephew receive when he graduated from the Army ROTC?
13. Where did I get married?
14. How will everyone know you're from Ohio if you go to the Cracker Barrel in the South?
and last but certainly not least....
15. What do I want used in my funeral procession?
There you have it. Best wishes, I now need to go back through again and write down MY answers, lol!! To make if fair, I'm hiding reader comments until it's over so that way there's no "sharing" answers. lol If there are any issues or questions on rules, I will put a little addition to the bottom of the post with some ***'s by it so you know that's new. But I think I covered everything pretty good.
Ok, Ok. Do you want to know prizes? I wanted to keep it a secret, but then maybe no one would want to participate in my evil fun, so I'll tell you. The winner will have their choice of one of the following: A) 6 scrapbook pages (3- 2 page layouts) ready to just add pictures to, tailor made to what I know from you and your blog, if you have one, and after asking you a few questions. If you don't have a blog, then I may make something up after asking you a few questions; B) A box of Toffee from none other than English Toffee Anytime (deeeelishis) or lastly C) Some sort of either chocolate dipped fruit or a small edible fruit arrangement from ediblearrangements.com. I will tell you that if you choose prize C, it is dependent on your location. So that option may not be available. But we can see.
So, have fun!!! I'll be back next Tuesday or Wednesday with the results.
So in celebration of my 100 posts about the wacky wonders that go through my mind, and those nice enough to attempt to follow, I'd like to offer a little quiz with the end result being a little gift. I have in mind to let the winner pick one of three things I may have to offer. One is homemade, the other two are not, but delicious all the same.
So without further ado, here are the rules. I have 15 questions and all but 2 of the answers can be found somewhere in the 100 posts on my blog. The winner will be the first person to answer all 15 questions right. If by chance no one gets all 15 right, then the person who gets the most right wins. If by chance more than one person gets the same number right and there is a tie, I may consider using just the first person who got the highest number, or I might do two prizes. If it gets to be more than two, then I'll just have to do a drawing of the people who tied for the highest number. Sound fair? If not, let me know, 'cause I'm all about trying to be fair.
Last Rule: The cutoff for answers will be Monday, August 17, 2009 at midnight. (midnight as in between Mon. and Tues., just to clarify)
Here goes:
1. How many pets do I CURRENTLY have? (clue - the side bar is NOT current)
2. What are they?
3. What is the nickname we've given our dog, the Mastiff/Akita?
4. What is your favorite breed of horse and why?
5. What is your best guess at why I chose my google name of ezra_pandora.
6. What is my paint mare's registered name?
7. What 3 gifts/prizes have I gotten/won from online blogs and from whom?
8. What tops my Christmas tree?
9. How many tattoos do I have and what are they?
10. What big ticket item did I once buy at a flea market?
11. Briefly describe my one my(or my family's) ghostly experiences.
12. What award did my nephew receive when he graduated from the Army ROTC?
13. Where did I get married?
14. How will everyone know you're from Ohio if you go to the Cracker Barrel in the South?
and last but certainly not least....
15. What do I want used in my funeral procession?
There you have it. Best wishes, I now need to go back through again and write down MY answers, lol!! To make if fair, I'm hiding reader comments until it's over so that way there's no "sharing" answers. lol If there are any issues or questions on rules, I will put a little addition to the bottom of the post with some ***'s by it so you know that's new. But I think I covered everything pretty good.
Ok, Ok. Do you want to know prizes? I wanted to keep it a secret, but then maybe no one would want to participate in my evil fun, so I'll tell you. The winner will have their choice of one of the following: A) 6 scrapbook pages (3- 2 page layouts) ready to just add pictures to, tailor made to what I know from you and your blog, if you have one, and after asking you a few questions. If you don't have a blog, then I may make something up after asking you a few questions; B) A box of Toffee from none other than English Toffee Anytime (deeeelishis) or lastly C) Some sort of either chocolate dipped fruit or a small edible fruit arrangement from ediblearrangements.com. I will tell you that if you choose prize C, it is dependent on your location. So that option may not be available. But we can see.
So, have fun!!! I'll be back next Tuesday or Wednesday with the results.
Monday, August 10, 2009
So much for plans!
I HAD planned last week on posting pictures of lead line and the zoo and all that good stuff. I ended up getting too busy that I don't even remember what I did last week before Thursday!! lol
Thursday we went to the zoo for 6 hours. My dad's little neighbor boy was begging my dad to take him to the zoo and my boys had been begging me, so I decided that was a fine idea. We went and got there right before the zoo opened so we got in line first. It was pretty uneventful. All I know is that apparently 6 hours on your feet and kids are STILL not worn out!! Even with letting them run and play on the playground for 1/2 hour while I crashed on the bench! Ahhh, to be an energetic kid again.
Our zoo is like #5 in the country I believe. It seems each year they are building something new. In June they opened a new kids discovery center. It's not quite like the old petting zoo they built it over, not as many animals to interact with, but it's just like the name says, a discovery center. It's definitely kid oriented for kids to understand and hands on with stuff.
Here are some pictures I took. I took over 100 I think, but I'm surely not going to sit here all day putting them up and I know you all don't want to see every last one of them! I did take pictures of name plaques though too to make sure I knew what to label the animals when I'm doing my scrapbook pages.
When you go into the zoo and over the bridge, this is at the bottom of the stairs. My boys are in the middle, my dad on the right and his neighbor boy Spencer on the left. Our zoo has 2 polar bears and there were supposed to be 2 cubs born I believe 2 years ago. We didn't see the cubs, and I'm not really sure if they are still there or if they have already been farmed out. I believe they are still at our zoo though.
Then we went over to the bears, tigers and penguin area. They were feeding the penguins and we got to see that which was neat. Then through the wooden fence behind the penguins one of the white lions was roaring. Everyone ran over to the tall fence to peek through try to catch a glimpse of it. I found a nice little space and got this picture.
Isn't he just breathtaking? There are only 50 white lions worldwide. The Toledo and Cincinnati Ohio Zoos are the only two U.S. Zoos to exhibit Sigfried and Roy's Timbavati white lions.
When we ventured over to the ape and monkey enclosures, all of the big gorillas were outside in their enclosures. This big daddy silver back gorilla was hanging out in a v-shape portion of the glass separator. He had been looking off and over to his left, so I just bid my time and as soon as he looked over in our direction, right at us, I snapped the picture. A guy behind me was quite impressed with the shot, lol.
When went through the part of the zoo with rhinos, camels, and elephants, I got pictures of our female elephant and her 6 year old son, who will be forever called "baby" Louie. They were just starting to eat their breakfast. The zoo puts their treats and meals in items so that they have to work for them for enrichment. Here Louie is trying to get some apples and stuff out of a hanging tire and barrel at the top of a pole. They also had 3 or 4 big tires stacked at the bottom of the pole that the elephants had to lift with their trunk or foot to get the food from.
Here's a picture of one of the two rhinos they had just let out of the indoor enclosure.
They are actually building an entire new HUGE enrichment enclosure for the elephants. It's due to be finished in November of this year. I can't wait to go see that.
After we went to the zoo on Thursday, we went to the fair at the county below ours with my trainer and my friend who is his girlfriend. She's really giving me lessons as I need them now, so I really don't have a trainer so to speak any more. I didn't get any pictures because we were only there for about 3 hours. We walked through animal barns and got to see the little piglet races. That was fun. In the horse barn we ran into EVERYONE it seemed like. Some people we used to board with when we first got our horses. Our current barn owner. They were grand marshalls of the fair because they have the big 8 horse all black Percheron hitch. They are really really involved in the fair each year.
That was thursday. Then friday morning I had my second interview for the job I interviewed at the week before. I think it went really well, but I won't hear anything until next week because the first attorney is on vacation until next week. I really really hope I get it. Cross your fingers for me because my husband got laid off Friday as well. Thankfully, since he is going to school, unemployment doesn't require him to have to find a job, but with me not working, one of us HAS to get a job soon. It should be me so that he can finish school and get good grades as he has to go to 4 days during the week beginning in January. Ideally we BOTH should get jobs, but since he's going to school, I would be ok if he found something maybe part time, like nights or weekends.
After I was done with my interview, my cousin had wanted to do something, so we went back down to the fair since the boys didn't get to ride any rides the night before. They rode rides, played a few games and we walked around a little. After we went home, it was time for the first night of the family reunion!! My mom was one of 5 kids and each year for the past 10 years, we've had a family reunion with all the immediate family, like my aunts and uncles and all us cousins. The family has since grown from about 25 people to about 45 or so with all the cousins spouses and OUR kids now. lol It's quite a sight. When it first started, they didn't want the normal, get together and eat and talk reunion. No. We go all out and it's a 3 day event. And when I say event, I mean event with games and prizes and a trophy at the end. lol Friday night is always a cook out and then an UNO tournament. We start out with about 5 tables of 8 people (not everyone plays because of kids or other stuff) and then it finally whittles down to one table of 5 people. The first year it lasted until like 2 in the morning. We've since gotten the swing of it and this year it ended around 9 or so. lol WE don't mess around anymore because we have to get up early and we all meet at a park at 9 am the next morning for a nice game of LOSER. LOSER is like PIG, but with more letters and 40 people playing. That basically takes up most of the morning until we have lunch. My one uncle's mother-in-law makes a nice HUGE lunch for all of us. This year there was subs, deviled eggs, fried chicken, and other various side dishes. Yum yum.
After lunch, we play an assortment of events like corn hole (each person throws 8 bags and various points are assigned and however many points you get, you are then placed in an order as to who won) and golf (you hit 4 balls and the closes ball is measured a distance from a pole and you are assigned points based on how close you got). The whole weekend is based on points. Like for UNO, the very last person standing gets the most points. The first people out from each table are given 0's. The idea of the weekend is to win each even and accumulate the highest number of points over all to win the trophy. Two years ago, I didn't win a single even, but placed high enough in each event that I won the trophy. So far in 10 years I'm the only female to win :)) The last two events each saturday at the obstacle course and 3 rounds of water balloon toss. Then we all wake up SUPER early Sunday morning for a big breakfast (dinner friday and breakfast sunday are made in my uncles driveway made in electric skillets and camp grills) from 7 am to 8:30 am and then awards are presented. We do it so early because we have family as far away as NC and Oklahoma that have to get back that day and they have looooon drives.
So, that my time from last thursday till yesterday. Imagine why I can't remember what all happened before that!!
Oh, yeah, and saturday after the family reunion my husband's oldest son (19) brought over his fiance (18) and we got to meet her :)
She's super cute. We took them out to dinner and then went to the barn to ride. They rode Sis, our old girl. My stupid horse (or should I say stupid me, lol) reared up and we fell over, again. You would think I would learn from all the other times that if she starts bucking and is prancy when I get on, that something is wrong and I need to fix it. The wires in my brain that controls my thought process are not letting this sink in. I keep thinking oh, she's just being stupid and that if I can stay on long enough, she'll quit it. NOT. And she never will. Here is the result:
Yeah, that's my knee. And I don't think it's even as dark of a bruise as it's going to get. As we were falling, I attempted to pull my leg out so that it wouldn't get crushed and some part of the saddle hit my knee. I cross myself and thank my lucky stars that nothing worse has happened and wonder when am I going to freaking learn that I need to just get off and try fix what's wrong?? My hubby said it looked like she was just trying to scramble away from me as we were falling back, and thankfully she doesn't run off once she gets me off. I really need to start listening to her. I think all it was, was that my saddle was about an inch further back than it normally was, and I didn't pull the saddle pad up under the cantle away from her withers like I normally do and it might have been pinching her. That's all I adjusted and she was fine after that. She's so touchy. Mares.
Ok, I'll save the beach, lead line and talking about old, old, old pictures that my dad brought over for me to see for my 100th post. Can you believe it?? Maybe I'll save those for my 101st post and do something special for a 100th post. hmmm, I'll have to think on that. Maybe some kind of little quiz about stuff in some of my posts. hehe.
Enjoy your day. HOT and MUUUUUUUGY here today for us. Thinking about going out to the pool for a bit.
Thursday we went to the zoo for 6 hours. My dad's little neighbor boy was begging my dad to take him to the zoo and my boys had been begging me, so I decided that was a fine idea. We went and got there right before the zoo opened so we got in line first. It was pretty uneventful. All I know is that apparently 6 hours on your feet and kids are STILL not worn out!! Even with letting them run and play on the playground for 1/2 hour while I crashed on the bench! Ahhh, to be an energetic kid again.
Our zoo is like #5 in the country I believe. It seems each year they are building something new. In June they opened a new kids discovery center. It's not quite like the old petting zoo they built it over, not as many animals to interact with, but it's just like the name says, a discovery center. It's definitely kid oriented for kids to understand and hands on with stuff.
Here are some pictures I took. I took over 100 I think, but I'm surely not going to sit here all day putting them up and I know you all don't want to see every last one of them! I did take pictures of name plaques though too to make sure I knew what to label the animals when I'm doing my scrapbook pages.
When you go into the zoo and over the bridge, this is at the bottom of the stairs. My boys are in the middle, my dad on the right and his neighbor boy Spencer on the left. Our zoo has 2 polar bears and there were supposed to be 2 cubs born I believe 2 years ago. We didn't see the cubs, and I'm not really sure if they are still there or if they have already been farmed out. I believe they are still at our zoo though.
Then we went over to the bears, tigers and penguin area. They were feeding the penguins and we got to see that which was neat. Then through the wooden fence behind the penguins one of the white lions was roaring. Everyone ran over to the tall fence to peek through try to catch a glimpse of it. I found a nice little space and got this picture.
Isn't he just breathtaking? There are only 50 white lions worldwide. The Toledo and Cincinnati Ohio Zoos are the only two U.S. Zoos to exhibit Sigfried and Roy's Timbavati white lions.
When we ventured over to the ape and monkey enclosures, all of the big gorillas were outside in their enclosures. This big daddy silver back gorilla was hanging out in a v-shape portion of the glass separator. He had been looking off and over to his left, so I just bid my time and as soon as he looked over in our direction, right at us, I snapped the picture. A guy behind me was quite impressed with the shot, lol.
When went through the part of the zoo with rhinos, camels, and elephants, I got pictures of our female elephant and her 6 year old son, who will be forever called "baby" Louie. They were just starting to eat their breakfast. The zoo puts their treats and meals in items so that they have to work for them for enrichment. Here Louie is trying to get some apples and stuff out of a hanging tire and barrel at the top of a pole. They also had 3 or 4 big tires stacked at the bottom of the pole that the elephants had to lift with their trunk or foot to get the food from.
Here's a picture of one of the two rhinos they had just let out of the indoor enclosure.
They are actually building an entire new HUGE enrichment enclosure for the elephants. It's due to be finished in November of this year. I can't wait to go see that.
After we went to the zoo on Thursday, we went to the fair at the county below ours with my trainer and my friend who is his girlfriend. She's really giving me lessons as I need them now, so I really don't have a trainer so to speak any more. I didn't get any pictures because we were only there for about 3 hours. We walked through animal barns and got to see the little piglet races. That was fun. In the horse barn we ran into EVERYONE it seemed like. Some people we used to board with when we first got our horses. Our current barn owner. They were grand marshalls of the fair because they have the big 8 horse all black Percheron hitch. They are really really involved in the fair each year.
That was thursday. Then friday morning I had my second interview for the job I interviewed at the week before. I think it went really well, but I won't hear anything until next week because the first attorney is on vacation until next week. I really really hope I get it. Cross your fingers for me because my husband got laid off Friday as well. Thankfully, since he is going to school, unemployment doesn't require him to have to find a job, but with me not working, one of us HAS to get a job soon. It should be me so that he can finish school and get good grades as he has to go to 4 days during the week beginning in January. Ideally we BOTH should get jobs, but since he's going to school, I would be ok if he found something maybe part time, like nights or weekends.
After I was done with my interview, my cousin had wanted to do something, so we went back down to the fair since the boys didn't get to ride any rides the night before. They rode rides, played a few games and we walked around a little. After we went home, it was time for the first night of the family reunion!! My mom was one of 5 kids and each year for the past 10 years, we've had a family reunion with all the immediate family, like my aunts and uncles and all us cousins. The family has since grown from about 25 people to about 45 or so with all the cousins spouses and OUR kids now. lol It's quite a sight. When it first started, they didn't want the normal, get together and eat and talk reunion. No. We go all out and it's a 3 day event. And when I say event, I mean event with games and prizes and a trophy at the end. lol Friday night is always a cook out and then an UNO tournament. We start out with about 5 tables of 8 people (not everyone plays because of kids or other stuff) and then it finally whittles down to one table of 5 people. The first year it lasted until like 2 in the morning. We've since gotten the swing of it and this year it ended around 9 or so. lol WE don't mess around anymore because we have to get up early and we all meet at a park at 9 am the next morning for a nice game of LOSER. LOSER is like PIG, but with more letters and 40 people playing. That basically takes up most of the morning until we have lunch. My one uncle's mother-in-law makes a nice HUGE lunch for all of us. This year there was subs, deviled eggs, fried chicken, and other various side dishes. Yum yum.
After lunch, we play an assortment of events like corn hole (each person throws 8 bags and various points are assigned and however many points you get, you are then placed in an order as to who won) and golf (you hit 4 balls and the closes ball is measured a distance from a pole and you are assigned points based on how close you got). The whole weekend is based on points. Like for UNO, the very last person standing gets the most points. The first people out from each table are given 0's. The idea of the weekend is to win each even and accumulate the highest number of points over all to win the trophy. Two years ago, I didn't win a single even, but placed high enough in each event that I won the trophy. So far in 10 years I'm the only female to win :)) The last two events each saturday at the obstacle course and 3 rounds of water balloon toss. Then we all wake up SUPER early Sunday morning for a big breakfast (dinner friday and breakfast sunday are made in my uncles driveway made in electric skillets and camp grills) from 7 am to 8:30 am and then awards are presented. We do it so early because we have family as far away as NC and Oklahoma that have to get back that day and they have looooon drives.
So, that my time from last thursday till yesterday. Imagine why I can't remember what all happened before that!!
Oh, yeah, and saturday after the family reunion my husband's oldest son (19) brought over his fiance (18) and we got to meet her :)
She's super cute. We took them out to dinner and then went to the barn to ride. They rode Sis, our old girl. My stupid horse (or should I say stupid me, lol) reared up and we fell over, again. You would think I would learn from all the other times that if she starts bucking and is prancy when I get on, that something is wrong and I need to fix it. The wires in my brain that controls my thought process are not letting this sink in. I keep thinking oh, she's just being stupid and that if I can stay on long enough, she'll quit it. NOT. And she never will. Here is the result:
Yeah, that's my knee. And I don't think it's even as dark of a bruise as it's going to get. As we were falling, I attempted to pull my leg out so that it wouldn't get crushed and some part of the saddle hit my knee. I cross myself and thank my lucky stars that nothing worse has happened and wonder when am I going to freaking learn that I need to just get off and try fix what's wrong?? My hubby said it looked like she was just trying to scramble away from me as we were falling back, and thankfully she doesn't run off once she gets me off. I really need to start listening to her. I think all it was, was that my saddle was about an inch further back than it normally was, and I didn't pull the saddle pad up under the cantle away from her withers like I normally do and it might have been pinching her. That's all I adjusted and she was fine after that. She's so touchy. Mares.
Ok, I'll save the beach, lead line and talking about old, old, old pictures that my dad brought over for me to see for my 100th post. Can you believe it?? Maybe I'll save those for my 101st post and do something special for a 100th post. hmmm, I'll have to think on that. Maybe some kind of little quiz about stuff in some of my posts. hehe.
Enjoy your day. HOT and MUUUUUUUGY here today for us. Thinking about going out to the pool for a bit.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Life as it has been....lately anyhow
Ok, I'm going to try to make this somewhat reasonable length so that no one gets too bored. lol but here's a little of what we've been doing. (BTW, this is my second post today, I DID post Friday funnies, so if you missed those, check on further down in my blog)
Swimming:
Daddy was none too happy about this new discovery of jumping off the swings into the pool. Yeah. I had told them no because I didn't want them missing the pool and cracking their head open on the ground. Well, as I was sitting there reading (and paying no attention, smack my hands, yes I'm a bad mom) 10 feet away, they were swinging when I heard the water splash. I look up to see them both with huge smiles on their faces and excitement. So I started paying attention and snapped a few photos and video(which unfortunately encouraged them too). They've been spending lots of time in the pool and mysteriously, they are still pasty pale white. Hardly a trace of tan. It's so odd. They just don't tan at all! They haven't burned yet either, so I suppose that's a good thing.
Next we have...Crafts!!
10 points to anyone who knows what this is!! lol
As I said before...Darn you Martha Stewart!!!! These little craft packs were for 4 year olds. Ummm, yeah. I could barely get them to work and look halfway decent, my 5 and 8 year old surely couldn't!! They got too frustrated, so I let my little guy do 2 out of 4 barnyard pompom animals and my big guy do one pipe cleaner animal. I will say, this was definitely NOT one of my more favorite summer activities!! lol
Then there has been this, also not so much fun for mom activity....playing in mud every single time it rains. Which has been quite often lately. And if you don't have rain? Make your own mud.
I didn't get the pictures where they were covered head to toe in mud, twice in one day, because I was too livid and my hands were doing other things to little hinneys. Yeah. You would think they would have learned their lesson after the first time, but no. I try to keep my cool as long as mud is concentrated on hands and feet because I know they are having fun, but head to toe? No.
We also went to quite a few of the programs at the library. Every Tuesday was story time and a craft. The crafts usually were based off the subject of the book that day. They ranged from origami dogs and butterflies to little worry dolls made out of paperclips, fabric and yarn. They also made little space ships. Then they also had other programs such as Magic or Science? (think Bill Nye the Science Guy) and lego building. So that was always fun and took up an hour at a time. They also showed WallE one day which was nice because I hadn't seen that. It also got the kids reading (and me reading more myself and to my little guy) for the summer reading program. It ends tomorrow. I'm not sure if I won anything, I got an entry per book that I read and they are giving away $25 gift certificates to certain stores around town. Then at the end they do a drawing for a meeting with an author. I'm not sure the specifics on that though. And then the grand prize drawing is two airplane tickets!! Can you believe the library giving away something like that? I don't know the specifics on that either, but I thought that's cool. I'd be happy with a $25 certificate though. The kids got little prizes as they went along their reading path. Their reading was measured in hours, not books, so after so many hours they would get different prizes such as stickers, noise makers (yipee) a little book, etc.
For some good news, my husband got "the call" from his older son (19 yrs old). He has some questions. We haven't heard from him in about 3 years after an incident that happened that really upset my hubby. "The call" was the call about questions he had about things his mother says his dad has or hasn't done over the years and he wants to know from my hubby what's all true and what isn't. Can I just say WOW?? Some of the stuff we are finding out she's said about my hubby makes me want to run to an attorney and file a defamation of character lawsuit against her. But whatever, we are just happy he is finally seeing the light and isn't under her spell anymore. I could say lots more, but I'll just say it's a happy time. We will be meeting his fiance (yes, he's engaged now) probably in a week or two when he can save enough money to come to see us (he lives a little over an hour away and I told hubby I'd like to take them out to dinner or something). So yay for that!! He's been calling hubby every day since Wednesday when he first called.
Then, I've got two job prospects in the works. Cross your fingers one of them pans out. Money is definitely drying up quicker now that hubby isn't working as much because he's going to school. I had an interview over the phone the beginning of July and then went for skills testing a week later for the county housing authority here. That would be a great job with high starting pay and excellent benefits. I had an interview for a different job yesterday and I felt it went really really well. The only thing I believe holding anyone from hiring me is my ex boss. I don't know if there's a possibility he's telling people something bad when they call to check. I don't list them on my reference sheet, but that doesn't stop people from calling prior employers. And attorneys are sneaky little craps when they want to be. So if I don't get either of these jobs with the strong interview results I've had, I'm having someone pretend to be a potential employer and call to see if he might be saying bad things about me, and if he is, I'm reporting him. So, hopefully, by the time the kiddies start school, I may be gainfully employed.
Ok, that's enough for now. I'll post about fort making, the lead line show and the beach (I still have to download my pictures for the second show and the beach) maybe sometime this weekend or early next week. I may have zoo pictures to add in by then :)) Have a great day.
Swimming:
Daddy was none too happy about this new discovery of jumping off the swings into the pool. Yeah. I had told them no because I didn't want them missing the pool and cracking their head open on the ground. Well, as I was sitting there reading (and paying no attention, smack my hands, yes I'm a bad mom) 10 feet away, they were swinging when I heard the water splash. I look up to see them both with huge smiles on their faces and excitement. So I started paying attention and snapped a few photos and video(which unfortunately encouraged them too). They've been spending lots of time in the pool and mysteriously, they are still pasty pale white. Hardly a trace of tan. It's so odd. They just don't tan at all! They haven't burned yet either, so I suppose that's a good thing.
Next we have...Crafts!!
10 points to anyone who knows what this is!! lol
As I said before...Darn you Martha Stewart!!!! These little craft packs were for 4 year olds. Ummm, yeah. I could barely get them to work and look halfway decent, my 5 and 8 year old surely couldn't!! They got too frustrated, so I let my little guy do 2 out of 4 barnyard pompom animals and my big guy do one pipe cleaner animal. I will say, this was definitely NOT one of my more favorite summer activities!! lol
Then there has been this, also not so much fun for mom activity....playing in mud every single time it rains. Which has been quite often lately. And if you don't have rain? Make your own mud.
I didn't get the pictures where they were covered head to toe in mud, twice in one day, because I was too livid and my hands were doing other things to little hinneys. Yeah. You would think they would have learned their lesson after the first time, but no. I try to keep my cool as long as mud is concentrated on hands and feet because I know they are having fun, but head to toe? No.
We also went to quite a few of the programs at the library. Every Tuesday was story time and a craft. The crafts usually were based off the subject of the book that day. They ranged from origami dogs and butterflies to little worry dolls made out of paperclips, fabric and yarn. They also made little space ships. Then they also had other programs such as Magic or Science? (think Bill Nye the Science Guy) and lego building. So that was always fun and took up an hour at a time. They also showed WallE one day which was nice because I hadn't seen that. It also got the kids reading (and me reading more myself and to my little guy) for the summer reading program. It ends tomorrow. I'm not sure if I won anything, I got an entry per book that I read and they are giving away $25 gift certificates to certain stores around town. Then at the end they do a drawing for a meeting with an author. I'm not sure the specifics on that though. And then the grand prize drawing is two airplane tickets!! Can you believe the library giving away something like that? I don't know the specifics on that either, but I thought that's cool. I'd be happy with a $25 certificate though. The kids got little prizes as they went along their reading path. Their reading was measured in hours, not books, so after so many hours they would get different prizes such as stickers, noise makers (yipee) a little book, etc.
For some good news, my husband got "the call" from his older son (19 yrs old). He has some questions. We haven't heard from him in about 3 years after an incident that happened that really upset my hubby. "The call" was the call about questions he had about things his mother says his dad has or hasn't done over the years and he wants to know from my hubby what's all true and what isn't. Can I just say WOW?? Some of the stuff we are finding out she's said about my hubby makes me want to run to an attorney and file a defamation of character lawsuit against her. But whatever, we are just happy he is finally seeing the light and isn't under her spell anymore. I could say lots more, but I'll just say it's a happy time. We will be meeting his fiance (yes, he's engaged now) probably in a week or two when he can save enough money to come to see us (he lives a little over an hour away and I told hubby I'd like to take them out to dinner or something). So yay for that!! He's been calling hubby every day since Wednesday when he first called.
Then, I've got two job prospects in the works. Cross your fingers one of them pans out. Money is definitely drying up quicker now that hubby isn't working as much because he's going to school. I had an interview over the phone the beginning of July and then went for skills testing a week later for the county housing authority here. That would be a great job with high starting pay and excellent benefits. I had an interview for a different job yesterday and I felt it went really really well. The only thing I believe holding anyone from hiring me is my ex boss. I don't know if there's a possibility he's telling people something bad when they call to check. I don't list them on my reference sheet, but that doesn't stop people from calling prior employers. And attorneys are sneaky little craps when they want to be. So if I don't get either of these jobs with the strong interview results I've had, I'm having someone pretend to be a potential employer and call to see if he might be saying bad things about me, and if he is, I'm reporting him. So, hopefully, by the time the kiddies start school, I may be gainfully employed.
Ok, that's enough for now. I'll post about fort making, the lead line show and the beach (I still have to download my pictures for the second show and the beach) maybe sometime this weekend or early next week. I may have zoo pictures to add in by then :)) Have a great day.
Finally Friday Funnies!!!!
Ok, getting back on track with "normal" life, lol, here are some friday foonies for my favorite friends :)
Who Wants to Be....A Millionaire?
A contestant, Sally, on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" had reached the final plateau. If she answered the next question correctly, she would win $1,000,000. If she answered incorrectly, she would pocket only the $25,000 milestone money.
And as she suspected the Million Dollar Question was no pushover. It was, "Which of the following species of birds does not build its own nest, but instead lays its eggs in the nests of other birds? Is it:
A) the condor
B) the buzzard
C) the cuckoo
D) the vulture"
The woman was on the spot. She did not know the answer. She had used up her 50/50 Lifeline and her Ask the Audience Lifeline.. All that remained was her Phone-a-Friend Lifeline. She hoped she would not have to use it because . . . her friend was, well, a blonde. But she had no alternative. She called her friend and gave her the question and the four choices.
The blonde responded unhesitatingly: "That's easy. The answer is C: the cuckoo."
The contestant had to make a decision and make it fast. She considered employing a reverse strategy and giving any answer except the one that her friend had given her. And considering her friend was a blonde that would seem to be the logical thing to do. But her friend had responded with such confidence, such certitude, that the contestant could not help but be convinced.
Crossing her fingers, the contestant said, "C: The cuckoo."
"Is that your final answer?"
"Yes, that is my final answer."
"That answer is Absolutely correct! You are now a millionaire!"
Three days later, the contestant hosted a party for her family and friends, including the blonde who had helped her win the million dollars.
"Jeni, I just do not know how to thank you," said the contestant. "How did you happen to know the right answer?"
"Oh, come on," said the blonde. "Everybody knows that cuckoos don't build nests. They live in clocks."
_________________________
Grandma Still Drives
Grandma is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. She writes:
Dear Grand-daughter,
The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a 'Honk if you love Jesus' bumper sticker ..
I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting..
So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.
Boy, am I glad I did; what an uplifting experience that followed.
I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good he is, and I didn't notice that the light had changed.
It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed.
I found that lots of people love Jesus!
While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, 'For the love of God!'
'Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!'
What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!
Everyone started honking!
I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those loving people.
I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love!
;
There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a sunny beach.
I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air.
I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant.
He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something.
Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii , so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign right back.
My grandson burst out laughing.
Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!!
A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me.
I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed.
So, grinning, I waved at all my brothers and sisters, and drove on through the intersection.
I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared.
So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away. Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!!
Will write again soon,
Love, Grandma
__________________________
To Be Old:
OLD people have problems that you haven't even Considered yet!
An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a Sperm count as part of his physical exam.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this Jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow".
The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the Doctor's' office and gave him the jar, which was as Clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, 'Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.
'Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her Right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She Tried with her mouth, first with her teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing.
'We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and She tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezing it between her knees, but still nothing.'
The doctor was shocked! 'You asked your neighbor?'
The old man replied, 'Yep, none of us could get the Jar open.'
____________________________
and last but not least in honor of the state of this lovely economy (which because of, I still have no job...) I give you:
Top 12 Indicators the Economy is Bad
12. CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.
11. I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
10. I went to buy a toaster oven and they gave me a bank.
9. Hotwheels and Matchbox car companies are now trading higher than GM in the stock market.
8. Obama met with small businesses - GE, Pfizer, Chrysler, Citigroup and GM, to discuss the Stimulus Package.
7. McDonalds is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
6. People in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and are learning their children’s names.
5. The most highly-paid job is now jury duty. (LOL - I'm supposed to go for jury duty August 10th and 11th)
4. People in Africa are donating money to Americans. Mothers in Ethiopia are telling their kids, “finish your plate; do you know how many kids are starving in America?”
3. Motel Six won’t leave the lights on.
2. The Mafia is laying off judges.
1. If the bank returns your check marked as “insufficient funds,” you have to call them and ask if they meant you or them.
Hope those brought some laughter to your life this wonderful glorious friday. I went to the beach with the boys today. I will attempt to make a post this weekend with pictures of everything I wrote about on Wednesday (I think it was Wed.). It didn't work out yesterday. lol
Who Wants to Be....A Millionaire?
A contestant, Sally, on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" had reached the final plateau. If she answered the next question correctly, she would win $1,000,000. If she answered incorrectly, she would pocket only the $25,000 milestone money.
And as she suspected the Million Dollar Question was no pushover. It was, "Which of the following species of birds does not build its own nest, but instead lays its eggs in the nests of other birds? Is it:
A) the condor
B) the buzzard
C) the cuckoo
D) the vulture"
The woman was on the spot. She did not know the answer. She had used up her 50/50 Lifeline and her Ask the Audience Lifeline.. All that remained was her Phone-a-Friend Lifeline. She hoped she would not have to use it because . . . her friend was, well, a blonde. But she had no alternative. She called her friend and gave her the question and the four choices.
The blonde responded unhesitatingly: "That's easy. The answer is C: the cuckoo."
The contestant had to make a decision and make it fast. She considered employing a reverse strategy and giving any answer except the one that her friend had given her. And considering her friend was a blonde that would seem to be the logical thing to do. But her friend had responded with such confidence, such certitude, that the contestant could not help but be convinced.
Crossing her fingers, the contestant said, "C: The cuckoo."
"Is that your final answer?"
"Yes, that is my final answer."
"That answer is Absolutely correct! You are now a millionaire!"
Three days later, the contestant hosted a party for her family and friends, including the blonde who had helped her win the million dollars.
"Jeni, I just do not know how to thank you," said the contestant. "How did you happen to know the right answer?"
"Oh, come on," said the blonde. "Everybody knows that cuckoos don't build nests. They live in clocks."
_________________________
Grandma Still Drives
Grandma is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. She writes:
Dear Grand-daughter,
The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a 'Honk if you love Jesus' bumper sticker ..
I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting..
So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.
Boy, am I glad I did; what an uplifting experience that followed.
I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good he is, and I didn't notice that the light had changed.
It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed.
I found that lots of people love Jesus!
While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, 'For the love of God!'
'Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!'
What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!
Everyone started honking!
I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those loving people.
I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love!
;
There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a sunny beach.
I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air.
I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant.
He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something.
Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii , so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign right back.
My grandson burst out laughing.
Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!!
A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me.
I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed.
So, grinning, I waved at all my brothers and sisters, and drove on through the intersection.
I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared.
So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away. Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!!
Will write again soon,
Love, Grandma
__________________________
To Be Old:
OLD people have problems that you haven't even Considered yet!
An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a Sperm count as part of his physical exam.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this Jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow".
The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the Doctor's' office and gave him the jar, which was as Clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, 'Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.
'Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her Right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She Tried with her mouth, first with her teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing.
'We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and She tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezing it between her knees, but still nothing.'
The doctor was shocked! 'You asked your neighbor?'
The old man replied, 'Yep, none of us could get the Jar open.'
____________________________
and last but not least in honor of the state of this lovely economy (which because of, I still have no job...) I give you:
Top 12 Indicators the Economy is Bad
12. CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.
11. I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
10. I went to buy a toaster oven and they gave me a bank.
9. Hotwheels and Matchbox car companies are now trading higher than GM in the stock market.
8. Obama met with small businesses - GE, Pfizer, Chrysler, Citigroup and GM, to discuss the Stimulus Package.
7. McDonalds is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
6. People in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and are learning their children’s names.
5. The most highly-paid job is now jury duty. (LOL - I'm supposed to go for jury duty August 10th and 11th)
4. People in Africa are donating money to Americans. Mothers in Ethiopia are telling their kids, “finish your plate; do you know how many kids are starving in America?”
3. Motel Six won’t leave the lights on.
2. The Mafia is laying off judges.
1. If the bank returns your check marked as “insufficient funds,” you have to call them and ask if they meant you or them.
Hope those brought some laughter to your life this wonderful glorious friday. I went to the beach with the boys today. I will attempt to make a post this weekend with pictures of everything I wrote about on Wednesday (I think it was Wed.). It didn't work out yesterday. lol
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
