Thursday, June 11, 2009

Those two little words..

What two little words, usually long and drawn out, do mom's LOVE (enter sarcasm) to hear most from their dear little children? I'll give you a major hint, it starts being used more often in the summer after school is out. Yep, "Iiiiiiiii'mmmmm booooorrrred." My older son hasn't even been out of school a WEEK and I'm already getting this from him. Of course, he doesn't like MY suggestions (clean up your toys, clean your room, do the dishes, play with the dogs, etc.) and whines. He thinks we should have a day trip EVERY DAY. Rain or shine, he wakes up with a list of places he wants to go to and things he wants to see or do that day. That would be great, if I was a millionaire!!! lol But I'm not, so I'm on the hunt for things to do with the boys that is cheap, easy, and fun. I'd welcome ANY suggestions you may have. I think going to the playground will only last so many days. lol We have a library a block from our house, so that is being frequented already. Thankfully they started their summer reading program, so my older son is super excited to get reading and put his name in for the drawings. They also have afternoon programs once a week that we plan on going to. We do have our zoo, which is rated one of the top 10 in the country. We'll be going to that too. I don't quite think I want to go a week though. They like to try to get me to let them ride the train (it's only $2, but that's $2 that needs to be going elsewhere) and buy souvenirs and junk food. I normally pack snacks and drinks to take so that we don't have to spend $5 on a hamburger. I'd love to go out to the barn every day, but that 1/2 hour drive really sucks down gas and then the hubby would be mad that we moved to a new barn so that HE can ride and we'd be going without him. lol So, any suggestions, I'm open :)

Speaking of new barn.....things are going well. The stalls are actually 12x12 instead of the 10x10 we had. It's nice they have more room to walk around and lay and stuff, but that also means more space to spread out their waste. Yeah, more stall to clean. And believe me, they BOTH have no problem spreading the wealth in that area. lol We went out Monday and we both rode. The older mare's back is clearing up beautifully from that fungus or whatever the heck it was that was making her sensitive and lose hair. Her hair is growing back and she's not sensitive anymore, so my husband decided to ride. I used the barn owner's saddle pad that has the extra padding in the wither area like he suggested. Yeah. My mare freaked out. I'm sure it would help, but I think it just felt too different for her. When I was finally able to swing myself up (she was dancing around mad, like those irish lord of the dance dancers), she started to buck a little. I kept only my left foot in the stirrup in case I needed to fling myself off, but she stopped. She was still really antsy and my whole saddle and pad were crooked. So I ended up getting down and switching back to my old set up. Not a problem. I could tell a difference immediately, even just walking her back to the arena. She was so much more relaxed. I would say don't fix what's not broken, but I think she does need that more padded saddle pad. I might try it again here and maybe try to lunge her and walk around first a little. The rest of the ride went uneventful. Both horses are doing really well and we're glad everythings going good.

I um, sent a little something to the old barn owners. I couldn't help myself. lol With his parting wish for me to say hi to the new people and making sure to let me know he knows them, I couldn't resist. I sent a little semi-sarcastic thank you note. It said thanks for all the clothes they've given us for the boys because that I really was thankful for. And thanks for putting up with my mare, who I know could be a handful (being said tongue in cheek). Then I explained that we left because of a certain boarder who made it uncomfortable for us and that I hoped she didn't ruin fun for his future boarders. I addressed the letter to the barn owner AND his wife because I know the wife doesn't like that boarder who was nasty to us. So she might say something and put that lady in her place. That would please me to no end. I know we'll probably never run into any of those people because we never did outside of the barn in the two years we were there. So it's all good. I let our feelings be known. They could be taken as sarcastic or as really thankful, so I'll let them choose which way they want to take it.

It's rainy here, again. We normally are in the upper 80's for a bit in June. So far we have had maybe 2 days of mid 80's and h-u-m-i-d. I know not nearly as bad as the south is having, but it's so miserable. Not fun to ride in, that's for sure. Hope you all are having a good week and that your summer has kicked off to a fun start, unlike what I'm told is happening in our house. lol

Friday, June 5, 2009

Foooony Friday Funnies

Here are your weekly friday funnies. Hope you enjoy!!

Golf
Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched In horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.

The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin,
Fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.

The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize.

'Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me, she told him.

'Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes,' the man replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands there at his groin.

At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside.

She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, 'How does that feel'?

He replied: It feels great, but I think my thumb's still broken!
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Linda and Deloris
Linda and Deloris are outside their home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Deloris pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.

Linda: What in the hell is that?

Deloris: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.

Linda: Where did you get it?

Deloris: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, Linda hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 70 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.

'Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel.'

The pharmacist fainted.
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Things NEVER said by Southerners
- Duct tape won't fix that.

- Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.

- We don't keep firearms in the house.

- You can't feed that to the dog.

- The kids can't ride in the back of the pickup -- it's just not safe.

- Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?

- We're vegetarians.

- Do you think my gut is too big?

- Honey, we don't need another dog.

- Who's Richard Petty?

- We could just share a small bag of pork rinds

- Too many deer heads detract from the decor

- I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today (That's for you Mrs. Mom, we know how you LOVE Wally World, lol. You might be the only Southerner to say those words)

- Is there anything in this restaurant that's NOT fried?

- The tires on that truck are too big.

- I've got it all on the C drive.

- There's too much sugar in this tea.

- Checkmate.

- I believe you cooked those greens too long
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Southern Values
There once was a young man named Billy Bob. Now, Billy Bob was a normal Southern boy looking for a nice Southern girl to be his wife. One day, at a mud wrestling match, he met beautiful Tammy Jo. They fell in love and got married. To celebrate their marriage they spent their wedding night at a Super 8 motel in their home town. Tammy Jo was very excited. She had bought some nice lingerie and Billy Bob thought she was absolutely breathtaking.

As they were getting hot and heavy, Tammy Jo said, “Be gentle with me, I'm a virgin.” Billy Bob was totally outraged to hear this revelation. He jumped up, dragged Tammy Jo out of the room, drove to her parents' house and left her crying on the doorstep.

Billy Bob immediately went over to his father's house and told him what had just happened. “She said she was a virgin... A VIRGIN!” To which his father replied, “Well son, as I've always told you, if she ain't good enough for her own family, she sure ain't good enough for ours!”

(ok,ok, that one WAS bad, lol, I’ll try to redeem myself with the next one)
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Rules For Yankees Who Move To The South

- Don't order a steak at a Waffle House. They serve breakfast 24 hours a day. Let them cook something they know.

- Don't laugh at folk's names. Merleen, Bodie, Luther Ray, Tammy, MariBeth and Inez have been known to whip a man's ass for less than that.

- Don't order a bottle of pop or a can of soda; this can lead to a beating. Down here it's called Coke, even if you want a Pepsi.

- Southern women don't fancy to smart mouth Yankees. Just remember, they all have brothers and daddies.

- Don't show allegiances to any other school in football other than an ACC or SEC team. All the others are a bunch of candy asses who play Wyoming every week.

- Don't call us a bunch of hillbillies. Most of us are better educated than you and a whole lot nicer to boot.

- Yes, we know the humidity is high; just quit bitching, spend your money and go home.

- No, the state symbol of North Carolina is not the orange and white highway barrel. This road construction is pissing us off too.

- Don't go to the Cracker Barrel and order toast. If you do this everyone will know you're from Ohio. Just eat the biscuits like God meant for you to do.

- Don't try to talk with a Southern accent if you don't have one. Nothing makes us madder than a Southern wannabe.

- Don't be telling everybody how much better it was back home. If you don't like it here, get your sorry ass back home!

- We don't play lacrosse or none of them other sissy northern games, so don't be asking about no scores, cause we just don't care.

- Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it.

- If you forget a Southerner's name, refer to him (or her) as "Bubba." You have a 75% chance of being right.

- Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can. Stay home the two days of the year it snows.

- If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

- Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store.

- Do not buy food at the movie store.

- If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cooking, let alone eating.

- Remember: "Y'all" is singular. "All y'all" is plural. "All y'all's" is plural possessive.

- Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are you?"

- People walk slower here.

- Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't understand you either.

- The first Southern expression to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "Big ol'", as in "big ol' truck" or "big ol' boy". Eighty-five percent begin their new Southern influenced dialect with this expression. One hundred percent are in denial about it.

- The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.

- Be advised: The "He needed killin'" defense is valid here

Ok, if that didn't redeem me, I will make SURE to get some Northerner and Yankee jokes up next week for ya!! lol Have a great weekend (and maybe drier) everyone! Last weekend of soccer for us, maybe I'll actually get some pictures this time! I keep forgetting my camera.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

So many things

Well, horses got moved to the new barn Sunday evening without incident and settled into their stalls. Thankfully there weren't too many people around to butt in and ask nosey questions. Anyone we actually care to talk to from there has our phone numbers and have/can call us to ask. The barn owner (at the old barn) was quite smug thinking that he was going to trap me into something I think. My dad and I were cleaning out the stalls before my hubby and the trailer arrived. The barn owner came over and said "So, where you guys going to?" We know he already knew, and besides that, the tone of his voice told me too. I said the name and that was it, while I continued working. I wasn't going to be nasty or rude, but I surely wasn't going to be holding a long drawn out explanation of anything. He doesn't deserve one. He's like "Oh" in a flat voice, again telling me he already knew. Then he says "You know, I've known their kids for a really long time. We all grew up together and they showed with my son. Yeah, we're good friends." I just said "Uh huh." Now I know who told him we were moving and to where. That's fine, I really didn't care as long as the things at that barn that we didn't like, weren't happening at the new barn. That was all he said. Then as we were pulling out, he yelled out "Bye! Tell Kelly (one of new barn owners daughters) I said hi!!" Yeah, whatever dude. If you're such good friends, call her up and tell her hi yourself. I'm so glad to be out of there.

So far so good at the new barn. We walked the girls around the aisles and in the indoor arena (it was raining so we didn't go outside) so they can get used to all the new and different stuff. I tried lunging my mare and darn it if she isn't back to her old trick of not lunging to the left. After all that freaking work I did to get her going last time. I guess I'm going to have to buy myself a nice little lunge whip, since I haven't seen any communal ones at the new barn, and go back to that. Then I'll have to make sure to keep up on that. Then the ding dong, I had her tied to her stall and I knew the tie was a little loose, but she was doing ok and I was right there. Sure enough, I lean down for 1/2 a second to grab a different brush and she gets the tie over her neck and starts flipping out. It was only a second before I could get her to stop rearing enough and reached over to pull the quick release. She settled down right away, but so embarrassing to have everyone peaking around the corner to stare. They probably thinks we're dumb. lol Oh well. Then yesterday we gave our older girl a much much needed bath. She somehow has something on her back and above her tail bone that looks like rain rot. How the HECK she got that I have no idea since she hasn't been anywhere where she's gotten wet and she never got rode hard enough to get sweaty. And we always make sure to brush them good after we ride too. So I have no idea where the heck it came from. The new barn has hot water!! yay!! She was so scared to go into the water stall though, and she's never hesitant to do anything. I think because she didn't see a way out except the opening. I don't know HOW we're going to get my mare in there without major incident. I'm thinking of trying to back her in rather than walk in and turn her around and risk her getting goofy and slipping. There's about a 2 inch step down, but that shouldn't be a big deal. My mare whinnied like there was no tomorrow when we took our other mare out to wash and not her. The guy barn owner looked at us and said hmmm, maybe we'll be moving one of them for awhile, she's too attached. I told him the funny thing is, they've been stalled 4 stalls apart for the last two years until the week and 1/2 before we moved! My mare gets attached to whoever is next to her. Always has been. The worst part is that her whinny is SO high pitched. It's really loud. lol

The GREAT news is that the owner is digging up the smaller pasture right outside the indoor arena because he's thinking of making an outdoor arena. I was jumping for joy. It will be really nice so that I can get my mare used to riding outside, but still have some sort of confinement in case I come off :)) We definitely feel that we made the right move. It was so funny, when we first put the mares in their stalls, they have two draft percherons stalled behind them that were looking up over the tops of the stalls. They are a good 18 hands at least. Our mares look like minis trying to look up to see them!! lol They have an 8 horse, all completely black percheron hitch. It is too cool. Two of the percherons have babies :)) And apparently there is someone in town close by that has a black horse drawn hurse for funerals. That is SO how I want to be taken around after I die. Way too cool. I think I'll ride my girl tomorrow and see how she does. I've lunged her and walked her around enough the past two days to let her see everything, hopefully it will be an uneventful ride. Hopefully.

Aside from that, the job search is still going. I didn't get a second call back from the place I interviewed with, so that was disappointing, and no calls yet from the other two prospective places. I have been able to get a LOT of reading done, which I hadn't been able to do in a long loooooong time, so that's nice. The boys are liking the frequent trips to the library. Unfortunately my younger son didn't pass the evaluation for kindergarten and it was highly recommended we didn't enroll him for that, but for a preK class they offer. I would rather him start late than struggle and hate school or be held back at the end though. Him and I will be working diligently this summer on stuff. I guess we just made a series of bad choices in daycares. They tended to focus on his behavior rather than learning, which sucked.

I think I'm going slightly crazy though not having the mental stimulation of work. I frequently have trouble getting and staying asleep and I find myself thinking about the most ridiculous things. I would think reading and doing things with my boy would wear me out, but it just doesn't. I don't know what else to do. I'm loving my time off, but my mind is going a little silly sometimes.

It's raining here, again. Thankfully it's just a little bit and steady, not torrential pouring like last year. Thankfully the new barn didn't flood any last year like the old barn did. So that won't be a problem. My son has had a bit of a temperature the past two days, but he's feeling ok enough to run around the house making me crazy. I think we'll go to the mall today to let him play on the playground to run off some energy. lol And I can get a nice sweet lemonade.
 

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