And now for THIS weeks......FRIDAY FUNNIES!!!!!! (Some are a little riskay, so cover your eyes if you are under 18 :))
A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, 'Please, may I hide under your skirt. I'll explain later.' The nun agreed. A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, Sister, have you seen a soldier?'
The nun replied, 'He went that way.'
After the MPs ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said,
'I can't thank you enough Sister. You see, I don't want to go to Iraq .'
The nun said, 'I understand completely.'
The soldier added, 'I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!'
The nun replied, 'If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a
great pair of balls....I don't want to go to Iraq either.'
__________________________________________
The Irish Drunk
A drunk walks out of a bar with a key in his hand and he is stumbling back and forth. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches, 'Can I help you Sir?'
'Yessh! Ssssomebody ssstole my carrr', the man replies.
The cop asks, 'Where was your car the last time you saw it?'
'It wasss on the end of thisshh key', the man replies.
About that time the cop looks down and sees the man's wiener hanging out of his fly for all the world to see.
He asks the man, 'Sir are you aware that you are exposing yourself?'
Momentarily confused, the drunk looks down at his crotch and without missing a beat, blurts out....
'My girlfriend's gone, too!!
______________________________________________
Doctor Dave had slept with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long.
No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in while he'd hear an internal, reassuring voice in his head that said; "Dave don't worry about it", you aren't the first medical practitioner to sleep with one of their patients, and you won't be the last, and you're single, just let it go."
But invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to reality, whispering..........Dave..............you're a vet"
...ok, that was just wrong. lol
___________________________________________
Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one. Reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in our jobs.
After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS ' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
And the best one for last..................
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
________________________________
One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me and my brother,
who is four years older than I am. I was maybe 1 and a half years old
and had just recovered from an accident in which my arm had been broken
among other injuries. Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a
get-well gift and it was one of my favorite toys.
Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news and my
brother was playing nearby in the living room when I brought Daddy a
little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several cups of tea and
lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home. My Dad made her
wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it
was 'just the cutest thing!'
My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of
tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up, then says, 'Did it ever
occur to you that the only place that baby can reach to get water is the
toilet?'
____________________________________
Ok, that's all for now folks!! Actually wait. I have something that's pretty funny here from one of our fellow bloggers. Reading and picturing the scene that Lisa over at Laughing Orca Ranch wrote about in their "goat herding" incident left me wiping my eyes because it was so funny. So in case you missed it, hop on over there and take a peep, because I tell you, you will get some jollies from that for sure!!
Have a great weekend!!
Friday, January 30, 2009
Speechless, which is a good thing for me
Ok, did you all hear about that lady in CA who just had the 8 babies?? Everyone was excited for her and what a cool story yadda yadda because there's only one other set of living octuplets. UNTIL you find out she already has 6 other kids, she's single AND she lives with her parents. That makes 14 kids UNDER the age of 8. WOW. Is having 6 kids not enough when you are single?? To top that, she had fertility treatments in order to get pregnant again. Ok, anyone with common sense knows the chances of multiples with fertility treatments is high. Not only that, but she also has a set of twins. AND they told her she was having multiples and gave her the option of reducing the number of embryos. Without starting a major war, that is a persons personal choice and reducing embryos is either seen as killing your children or seen as not because they are not considered human yet. Me personally, I wouldn't do it, but wouldn't rag on someone who did. I also wouldn't have had fertility treatments after already having SIX kids!!!! And did I mention she was single???Sorry. That story is crazy. Who is paying for all those kids?? I hope her parents are well off, especially considering in an interview, her father mentioned "that media may have a tougher time finding the family after the babies are released from the hospital. 'We have a huge house, not here," said the man, who would only identify himself as Ed. "You are never going to know where it is.'" How nice for them. I'm sure the state will ultimately know because they will probably end up paying for all of those 14 kids when mom can't get a job because she's trying to raise the kids, all (however many there are) dads of said 14 kids are MIA and grandma and grandpa retire and run out of money. Yeah. I think he knew things were going to start going negative and judgmental when he made that comment.
Now saying what I just said there at the end brings me to why being speechless for me is probably a good thing. I tend to jump the gun on things, speak before I think, and open mouth, insert foot. Or any other cliche you can think of for talking when I probably have no room to. I posted yesterday about my irritations with the barn owner. Even though I was really just venting, I was venting before I found out the real info. So as it goes, we did finally see the barn owner and he did get sawdust. But only 1/2 a load which, with the way people DON'T pick their stalls and only strip them every time, will probably last a week max. We asked what was going on and he said they have the wood at the mill, but there are no orders. All of the businesses are down and have no orders because no one's building stuff and using the wood. So if no one's using the wood, it sits and there are no shavings or sawdust. He said they were going to try charging $1600 PER load. That's outrageous. He's been trying to call around, but apparently there just aren't that many places. I don't know what's going to happen. I hope to god he doesn't raise our board though. That will be hard as things are stretched as it is. I know it wouldn't be his fault though. I'm just glad we aren't at our prior barn. She ran out of sawdust CONSTANTLY because of her bad credit with them. I can only imagine how it is now unless she tells people they have to provide their own. And even then she's probably stealing theirs like she did everything else.
I digress. So once again, I talked before I asked questions. How do you control yourselves? lol Is there a course I can take for that?? I think I need to slow things down. Sometimes it's hard because emotions take over, I suppose. I am emotional in that way, that I jump to conclusions quick without finding out the true story. I would be a horrible reporter, except maybe for the Enquirer or something. What kind of person are you? Do you just explode or do you quietly think about things? For me, if something irks me, I will quietly stew about it and either explode if provoked, or more usually I just stew and let slide. Like with my husband. He's a talker. I'm not. I don't bottle stuff up or anything, things just don't bother me like they do him. And he hates it. He says stuff SHOULD bother me like it does him. I think we just deal with it different. With that being said, as I was just talking on the phone to one of our vendors, I realized that I act totally different if it doesn't affect me personally. With the BO, I was all huffy (in my head, not out loud) and was imagining everything was against ME, etc. But with making this call to the vendor for a supposed overdue bill, I didn't automatically assume they were trying to screw my work over. I just wondered what happened, so I called and nicely asked. Guess what? It was a system glitch, so no problem. I didn't have to get all wicked and mean ;) Why can't I do that with myself? Someday. I guess that will have to be a personal goal of mine. Stop and count to ten and maybe things will clear up.
Now saying what I just said there at the end brings me to why being speechless for me is probably a good thing. I tend to jump the gun on things, speak before I think, and open mouth, insert foot. Or any other cliche you can think of for talking when I probably have no room to. I posted yesterday about my irritations with the barn owner. Even though I was really just venting, I was venting before I found out the real info. So as it goes, we did finally see the barn owner and he did get sawdust. But only 1/2 a load which, with the way people DON'T pick their stalls and only strip them every time, will probably last a week max. We asked what was going on and he said they have the wood at the mill, but there are no orders. All of the businesses are down and have no orders because no one's building stuff and using the wood. So if no one's using the wood, it sits and there are no shavings or sawdust. He said they were going to try charging $1600 PER load. That's outrageous. He's been trying to call around, but apparently there just aren't that many places. I don't know what's going to happen. I hope to god he doesn't raise our board though. That will be hard as things are stretched as it is. I know it wouldn't be his fault though. I'm just glad we aren't at our prior barn. She ran out of sawdust CONSTANTLY because of her bad credit with them. I can only imagine how it is now unless she tells people they have to provide their own. And even then she's probably stealing theirs like she did everything else.
I digress. So once again, I talked before I asked questions. How do you control yourselves? lol Is there a course I can take for that?? I think I need to slow things down. Sometimes it's hard because emotions take over, I suppose. I am emotional in that way, that I jump to conclusions quick without finding out the true story. I would be a horrible reporter, except maybe for the Enquirer or something. What kind of person are you? Do you just explode or do you quietly think about things? For me, if something irks me, I will quietly stew about it and either explode if provoked, or more usually I just stew and let slide. Like with my husband. He's a talker. I'm not. I don't bottle stuff up or anything, things just don't bother me like they do him. And he hates it. He says stuff SHOULD bother me like it does him. I think we just deal with it different. With that being said, as I was just talking on the phone to one of our vendors, I realized that I act totally different if it doesn't affect me personally. With the BO, I was all huffy (in my head, not out loud) and was imagining everything was against ME, etc. But with making this call to the vendor for a supposed overdue bill, I didn't automatically assume they were trying to screw my work over. I just wondered what happened, so I called and nicely asked. Guess what? It was a system glitch, so no problem. I didn't have to get all wicked and mean ;) Why can't I do that with myself? Someday. I guess that will have to be a personal goal of mine. Stop and count to ten and maybe things will clear up.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Wednesdays Wonderings and Potpouri for $1000, Alex
What a wonderous world it is that we live in, isn't it?? On so many levels. I laid awake last night, thanks to two cans of pop I had earlier in the day (smacking self on hand because I KNOW what happens when I drink pop after noon), thinking of just a bunch of miscellaneous things that are just weird. Do you think I could remember any of them at this point?? Of course not. So let me tell you about my irks right now instead. I'm going to vent. I know, that came out of left field, didn't it? But those were some of the thoughts going through this mind of mine last night on our way to the barn to have my first ride in over two weeks. The ride by the way went excellante. I was freaking thinking we were going to have a bonifide rodeo going, but I was pleasantly surprised. Grandpa watched the boys, so hubby and I got some quality alone time, hehe. Anyhow, my mare has not been rode in over two weeks and in fact has only been turned out to run in the indoor arena once in that time. She was jumping at everything on our way to and from the arena, so I had low expectations. But when I went out to ride, she didn't even move when I got on her. Normally she will try to start walking off and I have to keep stopping her until she lets me tell her to go. But she didn't last night. So that was a plus. AND, I think she has figured out that when she spooks, she doesn't need to dart around the arena. She spooked twice last night and she is starting to spook verticle and then freeze until I make her walk off. yay!! It's kind of funny actually and makes me laugh. So last night was a good night. I am a little worried about our little paint mare friend though. Since the cold weather started, she quit eating hay and started dropping weight. Fast. So she's down at Ohio State University and has been for over a week now and we haven't heard a word about what's going on with her. I hope she's ok. :( She's a little doll.
Here are my irks, these are all horse related right now. We are the only borders in our barn that have more than one horse. We are not difficult borders and we do not ask for special treatment. Board for two horses is not cheap. Here are my irks.
- We are out of sawdust. Irk one. So if we go buy our own, do we get that off board? No. "Things happen and the mill hasn't been open" the past couple times the b.o. has been out to get it. Ok, so if we are paying this board, which is supposed to include bedding, shouldn't the b.o. find an alternative supply?? I really don't mind getting out own as TSC is on the way, but 4 bales of sawdust is about $25. And we are paying board so that we don't have to worry about these little costs that add up. It sucks and we can't take it off board. Which takes me to my second irk.
- The b.o. put a note up on the board that he wants ALL board paid in cash from now on. ???? Do you know how hard it is to get $500 in cash?? Our atm has a daily limit. Our checks are direct deposited. We have a budget, which includes paying board by check, so that we don't have to visit the atm 3 days in a row for board alone. We have other things that need to be paid that we need cash for as well. I think it's a crock of shit. Why cash all of a sudden a year and 1/2 after we started there?? We've never bounced a check, and we've NEVER paid late. Not once on either of those. I have a feeling other people have though. So we are going to have to talk to the b.o. and let him know what an inconvenience it is. Is that bad? Should we just not care and I'm just making a big deal out of nothing?? I don't know what else to do though. There just aren't very many boarding barns around here with an indoor AND outdoor arena and lots of space to ride (since we don't have a trailer, yet) and it's really not a BAD place. If he's trying to make it so that he doesn't have to claim it as income for his business to pay taxes, wtf, it's not like we give him 1099's or something. I could care less what he does with our money once it leaves our hands as long as we are getting what we pay our board for!! grrr. Ok, that irk was part of this next one.
- The notes on the board. We are seeing the b.o. less and less it seems, and there are more and more notes on the board. He's not a shy man by any means, so why the notes? Why not try to make face to face contact with the boarders on decisions like these? That way, if there are questions, no one is stewing, (or gossiping as the case usually is) but they can be addressed right then and there. I just don't know.
Ok this irk has nothing to do with the barn, but my hubby. I love him, I really do. But he makes comments sometimes that make me want to smack him upside the head as hard as I can to try to knock some sense into him to see if he knows what he's saying. He said this to me last night. "You know, if we weren't paying $500 a month in board for these horses, we could afford a house sooner." Like what, we are supposed to sell our horses (or give the one back to the rescue) just temporarily so we can do "things"???? How about you find a better paying job??? How about you quick frequenting 7-11?? How about we give up these gps units that are mislabeled as cell phonoes??? How about we cut out cable??? He makes me so mad when he makes comments about that because it's like he just doesn't care and they are "things" you can just throw away and who cares. He makes comments about our dogs like that too. He doesn't like our blue heeler because she barks too much. He likes her other than that, but he just wants to "get rid of her" because she's annoying and barks too much. I'm like, I'm sorry, but when I take on an animal, ANY animals, it's till one of us dies. I'm a pet lifer. Now I will say that we did have to give back our gelding Chip to the rescue we got him from and the reasons were two fold. We could just not afford board for three horses because our circumstances had drastically changed from when we had adopted him to when we had to give him back. The choice was NOT easy. We chose him as the one to not keep because he was dangerous. He was very unpredictable and would be fine one day and buck my sorry butt off the next. And when he bucked, it wasn't just a little "I-don't-feel-like-working-today" buck, it was more of a "you-are-NOT-riding-me-today-and-there-will-be-no-if-ands-or-buts-about-it" type buck. It had meaning. Now if we had known the joys of chiropractors back then and could have afforded it, maybe things would be different. But that boy had issues. And the other reason we chose him instead of my mare (who at that point was still crazy and wildly unbroke) was that he was going back to the rescue. We didn't have to worry if he would be at the next auction slaughter bound or if he would be starving in some field or being abused. We felt horrible and I cried forever because he really was super sweet. Except for that, I refuse to just "get rid" of an animal just because someone's tired of it, or whatever. So his comments are just really irritating. They usually follow with "and then we can get" another horse, dog, whatever. Uh no. I've told him if we get rid of something, it will be a looooooooong time before we make the decision to get another one. If one dies, that's different. And no, we don't go around just offing our animals. lol Much to my husband's chagrin, they usually live long. Like our goldfish. lol
So those are my gripes for the day. And maybe tonight, as I'm laying awake looking at shadows, waiting for some mystical figure to appear to me, I will write down what crazy things cross my mind so that I can share then with you tomorrow. :)) Have a nice night all. We got about 6 inches of snow overnight so we are staying home and being cozy :))
Here are my irks, these are all horse related right now. We are the only borders in our barn that have more than one horse. We are not difficult borders and we do not ask for special treatment. Board for two horses is not cheap. Here are my irks.
- We are out of sawdust. Irk one. So if we go buy our own, do we get that off board? No. "Things happen and the mill hasn't been open" the past couple times the b.o. has been out to get it. Ok, so if we are paying this board, which is supposed to include bedding, shouldn't the b.o. find an alternative supply?? I really don't mind getting out own as TSC is on the way, but 4 bales of sawdust is about $25. And we are paying board so that we don't have to worry about these little costs that add up. It sucks and we can't take it off board. Which takes me to my second irk.
- The b.o. put a note up on the board that he wants ALL board paid in cash from now on. ???? Do you know how hard it is to get $500 in cash?? Our atm has a daily limit. Our checks are direct deposited. We have a budget, which includes paying board by check, so that we don't have to visit the atm 3 days in a row for board alone. We have other things that need to be paid that we need cash for as well. I think it's a crock of shit. Why cash all of a sudden a year and 1/2 after we started there?? We've never bounced a check, and we've NEVER paid late. Not once on either of those. I have a feeling other people have though. So we are going to have to talk to the b.o. and let him know what an inconvenience it is. Is that bad? Should we just not care and I'm just making a big deal out of nothing?? I don't know what else to do though. There just aren't very many boarding barns around here with an indoor AND outdoor arena and lots of space to ride (since we don't have a trailer, yet) and it's really not a BAD place. If he's trying to make it so that he doesn't have to claim it as income for his business to pay taxes, wtf, it's not like we give him 1099's or something. I could care less what he does with our money once it leaves our hands as long as we are getting what we pay our board for!! grrr. Ok, that irk was part of this next one.
- The notes on the board. We are seeing the b.o. less and less it seems, and there are more and more notes on the board. He's not a shy man by any means, so why the notes? Why not try to make face to face contact with the boarders on decisions like these? That way, if there are questions, no one is stewing, (or gossiping as the case usually is) but they can be addressed right then and there. I just don't know.
Ok this irk has nothing to do with the barn, but my hubby. I love him, I really do. But he makes comments sometimes that make me want to smack him upside the head as hard as I can to try to knock some sense into him to see if he knows what he's saying. He said this to me last night. "You know, if we weren't paying $500 a month in board for these horses, we could afford a house sooner." Like what, we are supposed to sell our horses (or give the one back to the rescue) just temporarily so we can do "things"???? How about you find a better paying job??? How about you quick frequenting 7-11?? How about we give up these gps units that are mislabeled as cell phonoes??? How about we cut out cable??? He makes me so mad when he makes comments about that because it's like he just doesn't care and they are "things" you can just throw away and who cares. He makes comments about our dogs like that too. He doesn't like our blue heeler because she barks too much. He likes her other than that, but he just wants to "get rid of her" because she's annoying and barks too much. I'm like, I'm sorry, but when I take on an animal, ANY animals, it's till one of us dies. I'm a pet lifer. Now I will say that we did have to give back our gelding Chip to the rescue we got him from and the reasons were two fold. We could just not afford board for three horses because our circumstances had drastically changed from when we had adopted him to when we had to give him back. The choice was NOT easy. We chose him as the one to not keep because he was dangerous. He was very unpredictable and would be fine one day and buck my sorry butt off the next. And when he bucked, it wasn't just a little "I-don't-feel-like-working-today" buck, it was more of a "you-are-NOT-riding-me-today-and-there-will-be-no-if-ands-or-buts-about-it" type buck. It had meaning. Now if we had known the joys of chiropractors back then and could have afforded it, maybe things would be different. But that boy had issues. And the other reason we chose him instead of my mare (who at that point was still crazy and wildly unbroke) was that he was going back to the rescue. We didn't have to worry if he would be at the next auction slaughter bound or if he would be starving in some field or being abused. We felt horrible and I cried forever because he really was super sweet. Except for that, I refuse to just "get rid" of an animal just because someone's tired of it, or whatever. So his comments are just really irritating. They usually follow with "and then we can get" another horse, dog, whatever. Uh no. I've told him if we get rid of something, it will be a looooooooong time before we make the decision to get another one. If one dies, that's different. And no, we don't go around just offing our animals. lol Much to my husband's chagrin, they usually live long. Like our goldfish. lol
So those are my gripes for the day. And maybe tonight, as I'm laying awake looking at shadows, waiting for some mystical figure to appear to me, I will write down what crazy things cross my mind so that I can share then with you tomorrow. :)) Have a nice night all. We got about 6 inches of snow overnight so we are staying home and being cozy :))
Friday, January 23, 2009
Friday Funnies
I know last week, someone had already seen the funnies in my post, and that's ok. They do say that if you know 6 people, you know the world, and that's definitely seems to be true with email jokes. They get recycled over and over and over. I'm definitely not going to deny that many of my funnies that I will be posting come from email forwards. I am re-posting them just in case you miss the joy that I've gotten. As I said before, EVERYONE can use some funny in their life. Of course, some of these blogs of our buddies already provide endless entertainment courtesy of our furry friends and little chitlins. But I want to contribute too, so here are this weeks, Friday Funnies......
Always check your child's homework!
Note sent the next school day with 1st grader...
Dear Ms Davis,
That is not a dance pole on stage in a strip joint! ...I work at Home Depot, ...that's me selling a shovel.
Mrs. Smith
_________________________________________________________________
(This is one of my personal favorites)
A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his
patients (predominately male) while he was performing their
colonoscopies:
1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone
before!"
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."
6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."
8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!"
10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
11 "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"
12. "God, Now I know why I am not gay."
And now the best one of them all...
13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up
there."
_______________________________________________________
Pudding Surprise
Some not too smart gangsters decide to rob a bank. After several days of planning they agree on the best plan. The next day they get to work and are able to get into the bank relatively easy thanks to their planning. Once inside the main vault they discover one wall is full of safety deposit boxes and start to work on them immediately. They drill and pry open the first box only to find a small container of vanilla pudding inside.
The Head Gangster says, "Okay, well, at least we can eat it." So they eat the pudding. They drill and pry open up the second safety deposit box and there sits another pudding. They decide to devour it too.
Determined to find the goods, the process continues for the rest of the night until all the safety deposit boxes have been opened. They didn't find any money or jewelry in any of the boxes. Disappointed the head gangster said, "Well, at least they left something for us to eat."
The next day, while listening to the news they hear:"Yesterday the largest SPERM bank in the USA was robbed by an unknown group of people....."
____________________________________________________________
A Biker Bar
A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink. Looking around, he sees three men sitting at a corner table.
He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks the biggest, meanest, biker in the face and says: 'I went by your grandma's house today and I saw her in the hallway buck naked. Man, she is one fine looking woman!'
The biker looks at him and doesn't say a word. His buddies are confused, because he is one bad biker and would fight at the drop of a hat.
The drunk leans on the table again and says: 'I got it on with your grandma and she is good, the best I ever had!'
The biker 's buddies are starting to get really mad but the biker still says nothing.
The drunk leans on the table one more time and says, 'I'll tell you something else, boy, your grandma liked it!'
At this point the biker stands up, takes the drunk by the shoulders looks him square in the eyes and says...............
'Grandpa,.... Go home, you're drunk.'
_______________________________________________________________________________
One day, 3 men rushed their wives into the Emergency Room for labor.
After a while, the doctor came out and said, "Mr. Smith, Mr. Smith, are you here?"
"Yes doctor, im right here," he said anxiously.
"Great news," explained the doctor, "Twins!"
"Wow, that's great, because I work for the DoubleMint company."
About 5 minuter later, the doctor came out and yelled, "Mr. Jones, Mr. Jones, are you hear?"
"I'm right year Doc," he said.
"Mr. Jones, great news, triplets!"
"Spectacular!" he said. "Because I work for 3M."
A while later, the doctor came out again and said, "Mr. Ford, Mr. Ford, are you here?"
"Right here docta," he said.
"Wonderful news! It's-"
"Wait a minute!" the man said."I ain't stickin' around for this! I work at the 7-11"
Ba-dun-cha. (Don't know how else to type that drum rif, lol) That's all for now folks. Hope you had a few laughs. Have a great weekend!!
Always check your child's homework!
Note sent the next school day with 1st grader...
Dear Ms Davis,
That is not a dance pole on stage in a strip joint! ...I work at Home Depot, ...that's me selling a shovel.
Mrs. Smith
_________________________________________________________________
(This is one of my personal favorites)
A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his
patients (predominately male) while he was performing their
colonoscopies:
1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone
before!"
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."
6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."
8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!"
10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
11 "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"
12. "God, Now I know why I am not gay."
And now the best one of them all...
13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up
there."
_______________________________________________________
Pudding Surprise
Some not too smart gangsters decide to rob a bank. After several days of planning they agree on the best plan. The next day they get to work and are able to get into the bank relatively easy thanks to their planning. Once inside the main vault they discover one wall is full of safety deposit boxes and start to work on them immediately. They drill and pry open the first box only to find a small container of vanilla pudding inside.
The Head Gangster says, "Okay, well, at least we can eat it." So they eat the pudding. They drill and pry open up the second safety deposit box and there sits another pudding. They decide to devour it too.
Determined to find the goods, the process continues for the rest of the night until all the safety deposit boxes have been opened. They didn't find any money or jewelry in any of the boxes. Disappointed the head gangster said, "Well, at least they left something for us to eat."
The next day, while listening to the news they hear:"Yesterday the largest SPERM bank in the USA was robbed by an unknown group of people....."
____________________________________________________________
A Biker Bar
A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink. Looking around, he sees three men sitting at a corner table.
He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks the biggest, meanest, biker in the face and says: 'I went by your grandma's house today and I saw her in the hallway buck naked. Man, she is one fine looking woman!'
The biker looks at him and doesn't say a word. His buddies are confused, because he is one bad biker and would fight at the drop of a hat.
The drunk leans on the table again and says: 'I got it on with your grandma and she is good, the best I ever had!'
The biker 's buddies are starting to get really mad but the biker still says nothing.
The drunk leans on the table one more time and says, 'I'll tell you something else, boy, your grandma liked it!'
At this point the biker stands up, takes the drunk by the shoulders looks him square in the eyes and says...............
'Grandpa,.... Go home, you're drunk.'
_______________________________________________________________________________
One day, 3 men rushed their wives into the Emergency Room for labor.
After a while, the doctor came out and said, "Mr. Smith, Mr. Smith, are you here?"
"Yes doctor, im right here," he said anxiously.
"Great news," explained the doctor, "Twins!"
"Wow, that's great, because I work for the DoubleMint company."
About 5 minuter later, the doctor came out and yelled, "Mr. Jones, Mr. Jones, are you hear?"
"I'm right year Doc," he said.
"Mr. Jones, great news, triplets!"
"Spectacular!" he said. "Because I work for 3M."
A while later, the doctor came out again and said, "Mr. Ford, Mr. Ford, are you here?"
"Right here docta," he said.
"Wonderful news! It's-"
"Wait a minute!" the man said."I ain't stickin' around for this! I work at the 7-11"
Ba-dun-cha. (Don't know how else to type that drum rif, lol) That's all for now folks. Hope you had a few laughs. Have a great weekend!!
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Four from Four and Drink Some More
My good blog buddy Mrs Lisa over at Laughing Orca Ranch spotted me a couple of nifty award and challenge things today.
The first is the photo file challenge. I believe that I'm supposed to pick the fourth photo in my forth photo file. Let's see what we have here.
I should have cheated and posted something better, but this is a perfect example of my non-existant photography skills. My mom was a wonderful photographer. I obviously take after my dad. lol This is a picture of my hubby (the tallest in the center with a tan hat, if you can see it) giving our older son his badge in the end of the year Boy Scout ceremonies when they are going from Tiger Cub to become, I believe, a Bobcat. In any case, not the greatest picture, but a fun memory. Lisa also said I could do 6th picture from 6th file and 8th picture from 8th file, so let's see what those are.
Of course this one above just had to be a lovely picture including myself at my best. My 6th folder is Christmas 2006 and the 6th picture is of me, in all my early Christmas morning glory, helping my younger son, who was 2 years old, fill a PEZ dispenser his lovely aunt gave him for Christmas. You KNOW candy outweighs ANY cool Christmas toy ever. lol!! So yeah, another great picture courtesy of moi. Let's see what 8 in 8 brings. (covering my eyes)
Ok, now we're a bit too bright. lol Of course my folders are in alphabetical order, so if I had Christmas 2006 for my 6th file, what just might be two later? Right, Christmas 2008. This is a picture of my boys in front of the finished tree. You're lucky it wasn't the 10th picture or you would have seen this:
Most of my pictures tend to look like that because the boys are NEVER serious. and in
damn. Blogger didn't save and cut off the rest of my post and now I don't remember what I wrote :(( grrrr I'll try my best.
Now for the part I'll bet you were wondering about, DRINKING!!! lol Non alcoholic this time, but both Lisa and now I see Mrs. Mom tagged me for the Lemonade Stand Award.
This award is for bloggers who show Great Attitude/Gratitude:
1. Post the picture
2. Nominate at least 10 blogs which show Great Attitude and/or Gratitude.
3. Link to your nominees within your post.
4. Let them know that they have received this award by commenting on their blog.
5. Link this post to the person from who you received your award.
I LOVE the game Lemonade Stand. Anyone ever play that? Anyone?? Ok, I used to have it on my, get this, my Commodore 64. Do you know what that is?? lol It's an ancient computer. My mom had won the lottery once and won enough to get a computer, so that's what we got. And I had Lemonade Stand for it. I liked that boring game so much I actually bought it online for my computer here at work!! lol.
Ok, so now I'm going to take Adventures of a Horse Crazed Mind's lead, and since I believe everyone whose blog I read has gotten this award, because they are so awesome, at this time I invite you to check out the blogs that I read that are listed to your left. You will find some very fine ladies who have both great attitude and gratitude for the many wonderful things and animals in their lives.
Love you all!!
The first is the photo file challenge. I believe that I'm supposed to pick the fourth photo in my forth photo file. Let's see what we have here.
I should have cheated and posted something better, but this is a perfect example of my non-existant photography skills. My mom was a wonderful photographer. I obviously take after my dad. lol This is a picture of my hubby (the tallest in the center with a tan hat, if you can see it) giving our older son his badge in the end of the year Boy Scout ceremonies when they are going from Tiger Cub to become, I believe, a Bobcat. In any case, not the greatest picture, but a fun memory. Lisa also said I could do 6th picture from 6th file and 8th picture from 8th file, so let's see what those are.
Of course this one above just had to be a lovely picture including myself at my best. My 6th folder is Christmas 2006 and the 6th picture is of me, in all my early Christmas morning glory, helping my younger son, who was 2 years old, fill a PEZ dispenser his lovely aunt gave him for Christmas. You KNOW candy outweighs ANY cool Christmas toy ever. lol!! So yeah, another great picture courtesy of moi. Let's see what 8 in 8 brings. (covering my eyes)
Ok, now we're a bit too bright. lol Of course my folders are in alphabetical order, so if I had Christmas 2006 for my 6th file, what just might be two later? Right, Christmas 2008. This is a picture of my boys in front of the finished tree. You're lucky it wasn't the 10th picture or you would have seen this:
Most of my pictures tend to look like that because the boys are NEVER serious. and in
damn. Blogger didn't save and cut off the rest of my post and now I don't remember what I wrote :(( grrrr I'll try my best.
Now for the part I'll bet you were wondering about, DRINKING!!! lol Non alcoholic this time, but both Lisa and now I see Mrs. Mom tagged me for the Lemonade Stand Award.
This award is for bloggers who show Great Attitude/Gratitude:
1. Post the picture
2. Nominate at least 10 blogs which show Great Attitude and/or Gratitude.
3. Link to your nominees within your post.
4. Let them know that they have received this award by commenting on their blog.
5. Link this post to the person from who you received your award.
I LOVE the game Lemonade Stand. Anyone ever play that? Anyone?? Ok, I used to have it on my, get this, my Commodore 64. Do you know what that is?? lol It's an ancient computer. My mom had won the lottery once and won enough to get a computer, so that's what we got. And I had Lemonade Stand for it. I liked that boring game so much I actually bought it online for my computer here at work!! lol.
Ok, so now I'm going to take Adventures of a Horse Crazed Mind's lead, and since I believe everyone whose blog I read has gotten this award, because they are so awesome, at this time I invite you to check out the blogs that I read that are listed to your left. You will find some very fine ladies who have both great attitude and gratitude for the many wonderful things and animals in their lives.
Love you all!!
Friday, January 16, 2009
Friday Funnies
I'm going to go against the grain here. I love looking at all the picture people post on their "Wordless Wednesdays" or "Silent Saturdays" or "Sunset Sundays" etc. But here's what I'M going to do. Friday Funnies. Everyone needs a good laugh, especially to get you through Friday to the weekend :)) So I'm going to post funny things. I like to laugh. That's why I watch more sitcoms on tv than serious things like Law and Order, or Prison Break and whatnot. I do watch some, but that's besides the point. lol Here are some Friday Funnies to put you in a good mood for the rest of your day :))
Really?? I'm so in the clear then.
What are the odds??....
Uncle Fred????
Whew, thanks. I almost forgot about THAT one!
"Would they let me know if they decided Adultery was ok??"
"We had no idea anyone was burried there!!"
Civil War planes?? Let me know how that one goes. When were the Wright Bros born again??
And you wonder why..
No comment.
What goes around comes around I suppose.
Thank you, thank you very much. Ok, comments aren't mine, just fyi. But can we say "here's your sign"?? lol!! Enjoy. Hope they brightened your day some and get you through to the weekend.
Really?? I'm so in the clear then.
What are the odds??....
Uncle Fred????
Whew, thanks. I almost forgot about THAT one! 
"Would they let me know if they decided Adultery was ok??"
"We had no idea anyone was burried there!!"
Civil War planes?? Let me know how that one goes. When were the Wright Bros born again??
And you wonder why..
No comment.
What goes around comes around I suppose.Thank you, thank you very much. Ok, comments aren't mine, just fyi. But can we say "here's your sign"?? lol!! Enjoy. Hope they brightened your day some and get you through to the weekend.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
The Interview (duhn, duhn, duhhhhhnnnnnn)
Sounds ominous, doesn't it? lol Probably not, and it's not, it's FUN!! Mikey, at The Horseshoeing Housewife, got fun interview questions from one of her blogging buddies. I was rolling by the time I finished. She's is really cool and hilarious. Of course, if you just read her blog you can tell that too, but nothing like some good thought provoking questions to push ya over the edge. lol!! So like her pal before her, she was kind enough to put a dare out to anyone reading that if they wanted some questions, she would send you some. muuuahaha, and questions she did.
Here are mine (sorry I'm not good enough yet to figure out how to change certain text color to make it different, lol)
1. If you could be a candy bar, what would you be and why?
Oh, definitely Reese's Cups. Peanut butter on the inside, chocolate on the outside. You get the best of both worlds. There's No Wrong Way to Eat a Reese's ;)
2. What makes you angry?
Oh gosh, too many things. lol! Really right now it's all the people on welfare. Don't get me started. I work in a law office and we see people from all walks of life. I see people who are honestly trying to make a decent living. And I totally understand that sometimes stuff happens. Not a big deal. BUT.....welfare is supposed to be TEMPORARY. Do you want me to count how many clients we have that are on welfare, don't work and have FIFTEEN KIDS!??! Let's just say I'd be using more than one hand. I believe there should be a time limit in place for people to be on public assistance, and I don't think if you have kids WHILE on public assistance, you should get MORE assistance. It's ridiculous. That's why I'm not having more kids right now, I just cannot afford them, so I'm not pushing myself. It's called self control. Or rather BIRTH CONTROL. lol Not only that, it's not just rumor that many of them drive Cadillacs and wear high priced name brand products. We have a client that doesn't work, has 5 kids, is 28 and drives and ESCALADE. WTF??? My pickup has 250,000+ miles on it, smashed in on one side from an accident and has a leaky radiator, but I still drive it because I can't afford anything newer. How can they??? That just irritates me to no end. UGH. Ok, rant over :)
(another one, horse related. People who say horse owners are rich. HA!!! My favorite little saying is "to own a horse does not automatically mean a person has money. It means that person has made the decision to sacrifice other aspects of their lives to enjoy the aspect of owning and riding their horse." I know that rings true for all of us. My sacrifices? Newer vehicles and vacations.)
3. Are you a cat person, dog person, or both/neither?
TOTALLY a dog person. Doesn't mean I don't like cats though. Here are my three mongrels, they are all about age 8.
Molly: (Blue Heeler)
Lilly: (Catahoula Leopard/Blue Heeler)
Mayliah: (Mastiff/Akita)
I do like cats too, but not mean ones. I think that's what I encounter most of, so maybe that's why. lol We have seriously been thinking about getting a cat, but we want to move from where we are now before we add more animals.
4. What's the best deal you've ever gotten?
Oh man, that's a tough one. BUT, I would definitely have to say getting my Cadillac. I have a 1957 Cadillac that I got, of all places, at a flea market. They had it marked $6,500 and THAT would have been a great deal. But I haggled and got it for $5,000.00 cash. In classic auto trader, they go for around $20k. It was owned by an old lady who NEVER drove it. It sat in her garage for years and years. So when she died, they were just trying to get rid of stuff and my dad found it at a flea market. He didn't have the money, so he asked me if I wanted to buy it. lol!! I was a workaholic when I was younger, working since age 15 and I'd work like 60+ hours a week at a Chinese restaurant. So I had the money then. Anyhow, there was some water damage on the ceiling material and the back window ledge. Aside from some minor things, it's in excellent condition and only has 64,000 miles on it. Total. So I would have to say that was the best deal I ever got. Ahhh, the memories. I got it when I was 19 and boy did we have some good times in there. It could fit 5 grown, 6ft+ guys (my big bro and his friends) in the back seat when we went cruising. Nothing like hearing Metallica play on an ancient radio either. Made them sound like oldies. lol!! I got my country bar nickname "Cadillac Lil" because of that. lol
5. What's the craziest thing you've ever done?
Hmmmm, another tough one. lol I'm not a very daring or crazy person. I'm very rational and don't like change or anything "dangerous." I suppose getting that caddy was kind of crazy. Getting an unbroke horse was pretty crazy. But I love her and it's all working out just fine :)) OH OH, I know!! I got married in VEGAS!!! Yes, that is the craziest thing I've ever done. We got married at the Little Church of the West. Why? Because A) it wasn't sterile white like every single other place there was, it was kind of rustic B) it's a historical landmark so it will always be there forever and ever C) Elvis could go there :)))) and D) it is down by Luxor and it's really nice there, not so much the strip type setting. Here's my proof :))
Sorry about the quality of the pictures. This was one of the professional pictures, and it was before we had a digital camera, so the picture had to be scanned in. You still get the idea though. I didn't technically "run away" though. It was planned. So maybe it wasn't that crazy. Most of my family was there (well, my dad, son, brother and two out of three sisters), a friend of my husbands also flew out to be his best man, and my friend who was the maid of honor lived there.
Oh the stories I could tell. Well, here's a short one anyhow. After the wedding, before we went to the restaurant for the reception, my husband had to stop and get some cigarettes, so we went to the souvenire shop in the hotel. Well, this older gentleman comes up and says to me "so, did you just get married?" I look down at my wedding dress pictured above, look at him, smile and said "why, yes I did!" He smiles and says, "Were you the bride?" I'm laughing hysterically inside, but again just smile and say "Why, yes I am!" He smiles, pulls out this THREE INCH THICK WAD OF $100's, hands me one and says "well then congratulations honey." I was like !!!! I about fell over. The kind man just paid for our reception food. lol!! We've gotten many comments that our 15 minute wedding video was way more interesting than their own wedding videos. :)) Elvis was singing and dancing, what would you expect? Of COURSE it's going to be more interesting. lol
Ok, I hope I didn't throw myself under the bus with any of these, which I doubt because you are all cool people.
I would love to throw out Mikey's dare and give you all a few questions too, but I don't know if I'm that creative!! Lol. If you want me to try though, I think I might just be able to come up with something for ya. Enjoy!!
Here are mine (sorry I'm not good enough yet to figure out how to change certain text color to make it different, lol)
1. If you could be a candy bar, what would you be and why?
Oh, definitely Reese's Cups. Peanut butter on the inside, chocolate on the outside. You get the best of both worlds. There's No Wrong Way to Eat a Reese's ;)
2. What makes you angry?
Oh gosh, too many things. lol! Really right now it's all the people on welfare. Don't get me started. I work in a law office and we see people from all walks of life. I see people who are honestly trying to make a decent living. And I totally understand that sometimes stuff happens. Not a big deal. BUT.....welfare is supposed to be TEMPORARY. Do you want me to count how many clients we have that are on welfare, don't work and have FIFTEEN KIDS!??! Let's just say I'd be using more than one hand. I believe there should be a time limit in place for people to be on public assistance, and I don't think if you have kids WHILE on public assistance, you should get MORE assistance. It's ridiculous. That's why I'm not having more kids right now, I just cannot afford them, so I'm not pushing myself. It's called self control. Or rather BIRTH CONTROL. lol Not only that, it's not just rumor that many of them drive Cadillacs and wear high priced name brand products. We have a client that doesn't work, has 5 kids, is 28 and drives and ESCALADE. WTF??? My pickup has 250,000+ miles on it, smashed in on one side from an accident and has a leaky radiator, but I still drive it because I can't afford anything newer. How can they??? That just irritates me to no end. UGH. Ok, rant over :)
(another one, horse related. People who say horse owners are rich. HA!!! My favorite little saying is "to own a horse does not automatically mean a person has money. It means that person has made the decision to sacrifice other aspects of their lives to enjoy the aspect of owning and riding their horse." I know that rings true for all of us. My sacrifices? Newer vehicles and vacations.)
3. Are you a cat person, dog person, or both/neither?
TOTALLY a dog person. Doesn't mean I don't like cats though. Here are my three mongrels, they are all about age 8.
Molly: (Blue Heeler)
Lilly: (Catahoula Leopard/Blue Heeler)
Mayliah: (Mastiff/Akita)
I do like cats too, but not mean ones. I think that's what I encounter most of, so maybe that's why. lol We have seriously been thinking about getting a cat, but we want to move from where we are now before we add more animals.
4. What's the best deal you've ever gotten?
Oh man, that's a tough one. BUT, I would definitely have to say getting my Cadillac. I have a 1957 Cadillac that I got, of all places, at a flea market. They had it marked $6,500 and THAT would have been a great deal. But I haggled and got it for $5,000.00 cash. In classic auto trader, they go for around $20k. It was owned by an old lady who NEVER drove it. It sat in her garage for years and years. So when she died, they were just trying to get rid of stuff and my dad found it at a flea market. He didn't have the money, so he asked me if I wanted to buy it. lol!! I was a workaholic when I was younger, working since age 15 and I'd work like 60+ hours a week at a Chinese restaurant. So I had the money then. Anyhow, there was some water damage on the ceiling material and the back window ledge. Aside from some minor things, it's in excellent condition and only has 64,000 miles on it. Total. So I would have to say that was the best deal I ever got. Ahhh, the memories. I got it when I was 19 and boy did we have some good times in there. It could fit 5 grown, 6ft+ guys (my big bro and his friends) in the back seat when we went cruising. Nothing like hearing Metallica play on an ancient radio either. Made them sound like oldies. lol!! I got my country bar nickname "Cadillac Lil" because of that. lol
5. What's the craziest thing you've ever done?
Hmmmm, another tough one. lol I'm not a very daring or crazy person. I'm very rational and don't like change or anything "dangerous." I suppose getting that caddy was kind of crazy. Getting an unbroke horse was pretty crazy. But I love her and it's all working out just fine :)) OH OH, I know!! I got married in VEGAS!!! Yes, that is the craziest thing I've ever done. We got married at the Little Church of the West. Why? Because A) it wasn't sterile white like every single other place there was, it was kind of rustic B) it's a historical landmark so it will always be there forever and ever C) Elvis could go there :)))) and D) it is down by Luxor and it's really nice there, not so much the strip type setting. Here's my proof :))
Sorry about the quality of the pictures. This was one of the professional pictures, and it was before we had a digital camera, so the picture had to be scanned in. You still get the idea though. I didn't technically "run away" though. It was planned. So maybe it wasn't that crazy. Most of my family was there (well, my dad, son, brother and two out of three sisters), a friend of my husbands also flew out to be his best man, and my friend who was the maid of honor lived there.
Oh the stories I could tell. Well, here's a short one anyhow. After the wedding, before we went to the restaurant for the reception, my husband had to stop and get some cigarettes, so we went to the souvenire shop in the hotel. Well, this older gentleman comes up and says to me "so, did you just get married?" I look down at my wedding dress pictured above, look at him, smile and said "why, yes I did!" He smiles and says, "Were you the bride?" I'm laughing hysterically inside, but again just smile and say "Why, yes I am!" He smiles, pulls out this THREE INCH THICK WAD OF $100's, hands me one and says "well then congratulations honey." I was like !!!! I about fell over. The kind man just paid for our reception food. lol!! We've gotten many comments that our 15 minute wedding video was way more interesting than their own wedding videos. :)) Elvis was singing and dancing, what would you expect? Of COURSE it's going to be more interesting. lol
Ok, I hope I didn't throw myself under the bus with any of these, which I doubt because you are all cool people.
I would love to throw out Mikey's dare and give you all a few questions too, but I don't know if I'm that creative!! Lol. If you want me to try though, I think I might just be able to come up with something for ya. Enjoy!!
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Toffee, Toffee, TOFFEE, Life's Essential Indulgence
Oh. My. God. I just got my toffee today from the free ad deal English Toffee Anytime had going, and I have to tell you that it is honestly, THE best toffee I have ever had. I got my free Milk Chocolate English Toffee after doing this post. I did it wrong initially, but they were so kind and generous that once I fixed it, they still sent me some free toffee. They are so kind. This toffee has THE best mix of chocolate and toffee. The chocolate melts in your mouth only to reveal a nice, crumbly buttery toffee inside. I wish you could reach in and grab a piece of this because words just do not do it justice.
Is it big enough, can you smell the aroma? Is your mouth watering yet? Mine is just doing this post. I have the box right next to me and it is not leaving my work, unless I hide it in my tote bag because NO ONE is getting any of this at my house!! lol I offered my co-worker a piece, but I made sure to break it in 1/2 so that there was more for me, hehe.
Thank you Mrs. Mom for telling me about this Toffee and thank you Andrea for telling me to fix my wonky looking sidebar and add the link so that I could actually get my toffee. I am forever indebted to you both :)) So if anyone wants to taste this decadent treat, I HIGHLY suggest that you click on the picture at the top of my blog on the right hand side, that little brown box that says English Toffee Anytime, and get yourself some. Better yet, get a larger box so that you get some, but you can act generous to others by giving them a small piece of heaven.
Thank YOU, English Toffee Anytime, for making my day.
Is it big enough, can you smell the aroma? Is your mouth watering yet? Mine is just doing this post. I have the box right next to me and it is not leaving my work, unless I hide it in my tote bag because NO ONE is getting any of this at my house!! lol I offered my co-worker a piece, but I made sure to break it in 1/2 so that there was more for me, hehe.
Thank you Mrs. Mom for telling me about this Toffee and thank you Andrea for telling me to fix my wonky looking sidebar and add the link so that I could actually get my toffee. I am forever indebted to you both :)) So if anyone wants to taste this decadent treat, I HIGHLY suggest that you click on the picture at the top of my blog on the right hand side, that little brown box that says English Toffee Anytime, and get yourself some. Better yet, get a larger box so that you get some, but you can act generous to others by giving them a small piece of heaven.
Thank YOU, English Toffee Anytime, for making my day.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Winter Fun!!
Well, we got some snow starting on Friday. BOY did we get snow. The picture here is about 1/2 through Saturday, so we got most of it by then, but not all. It snowed more than 10 inches within 24 hours. We haven't had that much snow at one time since I don't know how long. Last year we supposedly got record amounts of snow, but it was all spread out. A little here, a little there. Not this time. Thankfully it was over the weekend so no school or work missed. Here in NW Ohio, we get weather like this, not a big deal. So what did I do Saturday? I shoveled, went to the grocery store, got home and shoveled some more, went to the barn (where I loped my lovely lady, TO THE LEFT!!!), went home and shoveled some more and then crashed. lol My forearms are soooo tired.
When I got home from the barn I took this picture of Big Dog on our back porch. She had been snowed on because she doesn't like the dog house.
That's her nickname. Her real name is Mayliah, she's a Mastiff/Akita mix and she weights about 150lbs (on the low side). She was not too happy the other girls (Molly Moo and Lily Lu) got to go in and she was stuck out there with me taking pictures. Poor girl. I fell down the back steps as I was trying to get pictures of her because she was jumping all around. lol Payback I suppose.
We decided yesterday at approximately 22 degrees out, it was ok to take the boys sledding. Last year every time it snowed, it was in the negative digits, so we never went. But since Santa was kind enough to bring them sleds this year, we figured we might want to use them at least once, and 10 inches of snow was quite the base. Myself, I don't really like to play in snow per say. I LOVE skiing, but sledding and snowball fights and snowmen? Not so much. But because I love them little buggers, I bundled up in my brand new Carhart bibs and went with them.
Here are a few pictures. I mostly put wipe outs on there, because all my actions shots are blurry, go figure. lol
This is daddy and little guy. They wiped out 1/2 way down the hill.
This is big guy with his new techno/tie dye colored sled.
Here is a (horrible) picture of me and little guy right after we hit a little snow and it sprayed up into our faces. Daddy sure knows how to get the good ones, doesn't he?
This is of little guy wiping out on a nice big hill. He's pretty gutsy that little one. I was hesitant about going down some of the hills because I haven't been sledding in about 20 years. lol
And here are two pictures of the boys enjoying some nice warm hot coco afterwards. They were so happy we went. (although big one's not happy because his coco is TOO hot, lol)
Have a warm day. Out to the barn to try some new things with Sassie. I may (and may should be in italics, because I don't know if it will happen) ride my mare bareback, if I have the courage. Mugwump gave some advice on her onesidedness. I think she's getting better with the slow rehab of working her left side more, as was suggested because she let me lope to the left on Saturday. Yay!!! She gave a little buck, but then went. She was on the wrong lead, so we petered out and then I asked for it again and that time she went into the correct lead. Yay again!! So, we're going to see what happens with what I do tonight and some analyzing of her. Hopefully hubby will be up for spectating it and let me know some stuff.
Enjoy your evening all!
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Funny ads that more thought should have been put into, or not
(Ugh. I didn't realize this got posted before it was ready. I was trying to add pictures and was having trouble, but it's fixed now. My appologies if you read it before and it didn't make sense, lol It should now.)
Finally. I've been wanting to do this post since NOVEMBER, but didn't have a chance until now. I hope you get some chuckles at least.
Ok, we all know on some (of our horse friend) blogs, they put up prime examples of what kind of ad NOT to do when you are trying to sell your horses. Dirty, downhill, in a barb wire fence pasture standing next to a windrower machine and horse is covered in a tarp. Well, this picture here below, made me almost die of laughter. I had tears rolling from my eyes. I opened up my, I think it was December, issue of Horse Illustrated and what do I see for the horse loving readers?
HAHAHA!!!! I love it! If you don't know what's so funny, maybe click to enlarge so that you can read it! At least the headlines. So unsuspecting would Horse Illustrated readers be of seeing this TSC ad. So not right for family oriented TSC either. lol I was rolling. That was a magazine article that I saw in the flesh (or rather paper). Now here are some other pretty funny things I did a quick search for online, since I typically don't just happen to see hilarious ads like that all that time and wanted more funnies for you all.
Dentures anyone?? I didn't know those were, um, interchangable with users. I could definitely be wrong, but hey, ONLY 2 teeth are missing!! That's a real steal for $100!!
How about this one for a mens magazine? I happened to think it's purty darn funny and yet so very suitable for those single men or men who's women are out on a business trip or something. Wonder if they come personalized?? lol
Now these next few I think have been around forever. I know I've gotten several email forwards from all my good friends to have a good chuckle at these porre (see last pic for the intended pun) people. But you have to think, most of them look somewhat intelligent, so maybe they are just really good humored?? lol. I went from a 9 letter Czechoslovakian last name to a 10 letter Irish name. I'm allowed to make some fun of names here :))
Ok, that's enough jollies for now. Hope you enjoyed and had some smiles at least :)) (and some day, to more enunciate my thoughts, I will learn how to use italics and bolding!)
Finally. I've been wanting to do this post since NOVEMBER, but didn't have a chance until now. I hope you get some chuckles at least.
Ok, we all know on some (of our horse friend) blogs, they put up prime examples of what kind of ad NOT to do when you are trying to sell your horses. Dirty, downhill, in a barb wire fence pasture standing next to a windrower machine and horse is covered in a tarp. Well, this picture here below, made me almost die of laughter. I had tears rolling from my eyes. I opened up my, I think it was December, issue of Horse Illustrated and what do I see for the horse loving readers?
HAHAHA!!!! I love it! If you don't know what's so funny, maybe click to enlarge so that you can read it! At least the headlines. So unsuspecting would Horse Illustrated readers be of seeing this TSC ad. So not right for family oriented TSC either. lol I was rolling. That was a magazine article that I saw in the flesh (or rather paper). Now here are some other pretty funny things I did a quick search for online, since I typically don't just happen to see hilarious ads like that all that time and wanted more funnies for you all.
Dentures anyone?? I didn't know those were, um, interchangable with users. I could definitely be wrong, but hey, ONLY 2 teeth are missing!! That's a real steal for $100!!
How about this one for a mens magazine? I happened to think it's purty darn funny and yet so very suitable for those single men or men who's women are out on a business trip or something. Wonder if they come personalized?? lol
Now these next few I think have been around forever. I know I've gotten several email forwards from all my good friends to have a good chuckle at these porre (see last pic for the intended pun) people. But you have to think, most of them look somewhat intelligent, so maybe they are just really good humored?? lol. I went from a 9 letter Czechoslovakian last name to a 10 letter Irish name. I'm allowed to make some fun of names here :))
Ok, that's enough jollies for now. Hope you enjoyed and had some smiles at least :)) (and some day, to more enunciate my thoughts, I will learn how to use italics and bolding!)
Friday, January 2, 2009
2009 Goals
I posted about New Year resolutions, but realized I didn't say too much horsey stuff. Everyone else is posting on what they want to accomplish in the coming year in their life and with their horses. I only posted two minor resolutions that were really behavior modifications, so here are the goals that I hope to accomplish this year with my mare.
1. After putting a year in on my mare, which will be up this spring/beginning of summer, I want get a consult with the reining/cutting trainer to see what she thinks about my mare. She is only a few houses down from our boarding barn and she's supposed to be top notch. I might look her up and do some research about first and then call, but I'd like for her to look at my mare and see what she thinks and what she might be capable of.
2. Ride my mare bareback for the first time (this will probably be this summer when it's 90+ degrees and she's too tired to do anything goofy, lol)
3. Definitely take more pictures. I hardly have any of the girls and I know I regret not having more of our two geldings of the past. Plus I scrapbook and I can't scrap without pictures ;)
4. I kind of said this one in my other post, but I need to learn more about myself and my riding and how it's affecting my mare. This should really be #1 as it is and should be higher priority than the others. lol I need to learn how my movements and riding affects her movements and balance and correct it. My lessons in the past were about the horse and how to just ride her. My lessons in the future will have to be about me and correcting myself.
5. Going with #4, I'd like to learn to ride her more with body language and my seat than everything being with the reins. Ride more subtle and use the less is more notion. That way I can stay off her mouth and I'm sure that's better for her too. She is steadily progressing with moving off my legs, but I definitely have lots further to go.
6. A trail ride. A real, bonifide trail ride. I've rode out in the hay fields with her, three times, but I would definitely love to be able to ride in the back woods with her. She freaked out the last time we were in the hay field, but I didn't let her just run back to the barn and she didn't really lose control. So I think that was a huge plus. I was nervous as all heck the first time we rode out there, so I'll have to definitely make both of us both more comfortable out there before we tackle the woods.
But taking all of these into consideration, at this time last year, I never would have dreamed that I'd be as far as I am today. My mare is ridable. That was all I ever wanted after owning her for 4 years. I'm ecstatic.
Happy New Year all.
1. After putting a year in on my mare, which will be up this spring/beginning of summer, I want get a consult with the reining/cutting trainer to see what she thinks about my mare. She is only a few houses down from our boarding barn and she's supposed to be top notch. I might look her up and do some research about first and then call, but I'd like for her to look at my mare and see what she thinks and what she might be capable of.
2. Ride my mare bareback for the first time (this will probably be this summer when it's 90+ degrees and she's too tired to do anything goofy, lol)
3. Definitely take more pictures. I hardly have any of the girls and I know I regret not having more of our two geldings of the past. Plus I scrapbook and I can't scrap without pictures ;)
4. I kind of said this one in my other post, but I need to learn more about myself and my riding and how it's affecting my mare. This should really be #1 as it is and should be higher priority than the others. lol I need to learn how my movements and riding affects her movements and balance and correct it. My lessons in the past were about the horse and how to just ride her. My lessons in the future will have to be about me and correcting myself.
5. Going with #4, I'd like to learn to ride her more with body language and my seat than everything being with the reins. Ride more subtle and use the less is more notion. That way I can stay off her mouth and I'm sure that's better for her too. She is steadily progressing with moving off my legs, but I definitely have lots further to go.
6. A trail ride. A real, bonifide trail ride. I've rode out in the hay fields with her, three times, but I would definitely love to be able to ride in the back woods with her. She freaked out the last time we were in the hay field, but I didn't let her just run back to the barn and she didn't really lose control. So I think that was a huge plus. I was nervous as all heck the first time we rode out there, so I'll have to definitely make both of us both more comfortable out there before we tackle the woods.
But taking all of these into consideration, at this time last year, I never would have dreamed that I'd be as far as I am today. My mare is ridable. That was all I ever wanted after owning her for 4 years. I'm ecstatic.
Happy New Year all.
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