Ok, I was get on and write (and obviously still am, hehe) how it's not just a cliche that kids say the darnedest things, but cdncowgirl beat me to it!! I think that girl has a lifeline to my brain. I logged on today to write this post, and instead started reading through all the updated blogs to see what's up with everyone else around the world first. Imagine my surprise when cdn blogged almost something identical (topic wise) to what I was going to post. This has happened a few times. lol It's crazy!!
Ok, anywho, here's the latest. Does anyone know of anything to peek inside the heads of our young ones? Nope. If we would we'd definitely be doing it to horses too I'm sure! Upon hearing various things my little ones talk about, either to each other, to themselves, or during discussions about whatever, I often wonder just what it is that they are picturing in their head, what vision is crossing their imaginative brains. Here's definitely not the only, but the most recent occurrence that sparked that wish. I had the hard job of having to tell my 5 year old that one of his preschool classmates was in a bad accident, is in ICU and that her single, 8 mo. pregnant mommy and unborn brother (who was already named) are now in heaven :( Last Wednesday we kept hearing all day on the radio and new about how one of our major through ways was closed because of a single car fatal accident. I'm always sad when I hear that. Then Friday the preschool sent a letter home explaining it was the classmate of my younger one and her mom and how the mother was ALWAYS careful to wear a seat belt, but for some reason that day she did not have it on. No one knows really what happened. They think maybe she had turned around to tend to the little girl in the backseat for some reason. The person travelling behind her said she never hit the breaks before veering into the median and striking a tree hard. The preschool said that they would like the parents to talk to their children over the weekend and explain what happened. They were nice enough and gave a little dialog that might help with that difficult talk. The would be updating the children on the little girl's status as she recovers and didn't want to surprise the kids. I knew all day when they were saying the woman's name that it kind of sounded familiar. My kids always call their classmates by first and last names. I don't know why, they always have. And I think Tater has talked about the little girl before and maybe that's why. Unfortunately my boys are no strangers to death already in their short little lives. My 7 year old had no problem understanding. We had our horse Remington die, both of the boys grandmothers (hubby and my moms) passed before the boys were born and one of my aunts passed away last fall. One of my hubby's uncles is very ill and isn't expected to make it through this week. So they've been to their fair share of funerals and we've had many death talks. We always tell the boys whoever it is that passed is in (or going to) heaven to have lots of fun and play and visit with each other. (no discussions please, that's what we believe and it's ok if you don't) Ok, pretty simple. Well, as I'm telling my little one that his friends mommy and little brother are in heaven, just like Remington, he interrupts me and kind of whimpers and says he wants Remington back. Ugh. I hate sadness. I don't deal with funerals very well. I never have. Even if it's someone I wasn't close to, didn't know very well, or didn't really like, I feel sorry for the people that will be missing who they lost and I end up crying my eyes out. I teared up just driving by the tree she hit because that poor little girl. Anyhow, I told him that Remington is in a good place and he's up there running around having fun playing in the sun and eating green grass. My 7 year old is trying to help me out too, which was cute. Well THEN, 5 year old says, "I don't want them in outer space!!" I was speechless because I don't know what his outer space looks like. I don't know if he is picturing this horse floating around in the air in what we all see outer space as. I was like hmmmm. Ok, "honey, they aren't in outer space." He says "Yes they are, heaven is outer space." I said "No, heaven is in the clouds, outer space is further out." He said ok, asked how they get to heaven (god comes and holds their hand) and then calmed down. It was funny to me and I almost giggled picturing all of our loved ones just hanging out and floating in outer space. I know it's not technically funny, but I would so loved to have just for a second been able to glimpse inside his head and see what it was he was picturing.
Kids. What can I say? Sometimes you want to cry and laugh at the same time.
On Saturday my younger one, again (it's usually him that says the wackiest stuff), wanted to wear his little brown suede "cowboy" vest (that he wears 24/7). I was trying to give him a shirt and I told him that he can't just wear that, he HAS to wear some sort of shirt under it. He says to me "no, I just want to wear my vest!!" I was rolling. I texted my hubby who was out at the barn and said that we have a future Village (People) Person, T-man's going to take over as the cowboy!! LOL!!! Little guy saw nothing wrong with wearing his vest with nothing on underneath, even though it was only 30 degrees out. lol!!
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
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8 comments:
You know what is crazy? When I was a kid and people talked about heaven, I sort of had the same image as your little one. I rather thought that the sky was the ceiling and beyond that is heaven. Kind of like riding an elevator to another floor. The doors open and voila...Heaven.
That is very sad about that family. What a tragedy. But probably something beyond the comprehension of little kids. Most little one's would understand that their friend had been hurt in a car accident and can relate to that, but the relavance of the loss of the mother and unborn baby seems a bit to indepth to try to explain. It was nice of the school to send out letters explaining the situation to the parents though.
What a tragedy. Sure hope the little girl makes it.
I have a classic photo of my now-23 yr. old son as a sprout. I told him he could wear whatever he wanted to have his picture taken at Sears. I got a pari of brightly colored surfer shorts, a Ghostbuster T-shirt with a bandanna tied around his neck and cowboy boots. It's my favorite photo :-)
What a tragedy, praying for the family and the little girl. My daughter has had to deal with death at a early age and does well for her age.
That is such a tragedy but I think you handled the conversation well. I totally got his line of thinking as far as what he was seeing in his head as heaven.
I don't deal really well with sadness, death or funerals either. I can't even attend a funeral. I don't undersgand the point of 'viewing' a dead body. The body isn't even a loved on anymore. The spirit has moved on and the body is stuffed full of chemicals and covered in make-up and fake stuff.
It makes me ill when people at a viewing say, 'aahhh, he looks good' when looking at their dead relative.
He's dead people! How can he look good?
Sorry, for getting into a tangent. I've been forced to attend funerals since my own Mother died when I was a little girl...and I can't deal with it anymore.
How sad for that little girl, though. What a terrible tragedy.
Thank goodness for your sweet kids, somehow bringing out some amusing images to make you (and me) smile. hehe!
~Lisa
BEC: See I don't really ever remember thinking heaven was anything but people walking on white fluffy clouds. Maybe I did earlier on and don't remember. I like your heave though too :)
Leah: that would be THE cutest picture! I remember reading an article about letting kids wear stuff they want, even if it's over and over. Maybe I'll find it and copy it and post it on here. It was a great article. That article is one of the reasons I let my younger one wear his little vest (WITH shirts) every single day if he wants to. I'm trying not to limit his imaginations.
kdw: I don't know if I'm happy or more sad that my kids can handle death well. I know it's a fact of life, but it's still hard.
melissa: I sure hope I did. I was a little worried after his outerspace comment though, lol. Makes me wonder if I should have just let him think whatever he pictured or if I should have tried to make him see what I think it is. hmmmm.
LOR: When I go to funerals, I don't go to the casket. I just can't. If I HAVE to go up there, I look at the casket or the flowers around it, but never the person inside. I actually got really mad at my (maternal) grandma at my mom's funeral. She had walked over to me after being at the viewing for awhile and said "You know, everyone says she looks so good, but I don't think she does." I was soooo po'd and didn't talk to her for the longest time. Until I realized she was totally right. My mom looked horrible. She was a little bloated from medications. She died from breast cancer and hadn't gotten all of her hair back after her chemo, so she had to have a wig on. She had a cancer node that was on her chin and they "tried" to cover up and did a bad job. So it just didn't look like the mom I knew, but I was so mad that my grandma would say her daughter looked bad. I got over it, a little too late. Yeah, I STILL get forced (really guilted) into going to funerals. When my husband's uncle dies, I will have to go to that too. I will keep myself busy with the boys though. I don't like being around sadness. That's why I do Friday Funnies!! lol
What a terrible accident. Poor kid.
You know, I think the "viewing" really came about as a way for people to be able to realize that the person had actually passed away. Strange, but an important part of closure for a lot of people.
I wasn't there when my dad passed away, but he looked so bad the last time I had seen him, I was concerned about an open casket funeral. He actually looked much better at the funeral than he had when I had last seen him.
My step-dad on the other hand-had been ill for so long and changed so much that he insisted on being cremated so people could not see him as he had become. That was really hard on his kids, because they had not seen him in years and had no idea that he had changed so much and they resent my mom for carrying out his wishes. Luckily my step-dad also told his brother his wish to be cremated so nothing came of their complaints.
It's never the funeral that bothers me, it is the aftermath that is usually the big mess-Will or no Will.
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