Wedding pics!!

Leah Fry over at Barn Door Tagz posted about her love for her hubby and some of their history in her Endless Love post. I'm not really the romantic, and I personally don't believe there is only one single person for everyone in this world. There was an excellent quote in Parade magazine (in the Sunday newspaper) from an actor who has been married to his wife for a really really long time. I'll be darned if I can't find it. It hit my opinion right on the mark and basically said that it takes more than just love to be able to make it, and I think that's right. I'm not going to go into all of my thoughts on love, relationships and marriage, as I am sure I'm not the most qualified to do so :) although it might be entertaining. lol

So in light of our 6 year anniversary yesterday, here is our history. When I was younger, I had been going to a country bar with one of my great friends since I was 18. Didn't drink obviously (not there anyhow, hehe) but really just went to socialize and dance. My friend had an older sister who had been going to that bar for quite some time before us, but since she knew everyone, we kind of hung out with her and her people. Well, after going there for about 2 years, my friend and I had got together with some of the people to go to a local rodeo. I think it was part of the Midstates Rodeo circuit. Anyhow, two of the guys in the group were bull riders and were entered for that weekend. This is when I met my hubby, who I already knew, but didn't really KNOW know. You know? lol We went and I drove. He had to sit up front because in my little Jeep Cherokee, he was too squished in the back. The other guy was already there because, well, it was being held at his parents' riding center and he lived there. We all got along great and truth be told, I don't recall who covered and who didn't, I was too smitten with the guy whose parents owned the riding arena. He was quite the player though, and my hubbys best friend (hehe, I know, sounds bad). Anyhow, after leaving that rodeo, my friend also introduced me better to the friend and I started hanging out with him. We dated for a few weeks and it just kind of fizzled out. A couple months later we all went to another rodeo and again, my hubby rode up front with me. While we were there, it got kind of cold that night, so he let me and my friend huddle under his jacket. It was kind of crowded and I told my hubby to move his big butt over. I don't know why, but that caught his attention. I was being a little pissant and he thought it was cute!! lol After that we kind of started talking more and then one night at the bar, he asked me if I still lived at home. I was 20. I said unfortunately yes. He asked if I was looking for a place. (at this time we were just friends, so I thought. I didn't have any real attraction connection so to speak with him) I said not really, but eventually I'd love to move out to the country. Well, his mom had passed away about 2 months prior to that and he was kind of looking for a roommate to help defer costs. Hmmmmm. I said well, I'd have to think about it. I had a nice steady job and not a whole lot of expenses (of course, that was living at HOME,lol), so after going out and seeing my huge like 20x30 foot room (basically the whole 2nd floor of the farm house) that I was allowed to paint and do whatever I wanted with, and no neighbors for at least 1/2 mile, I said SURE!! So in June 2000 I moved in, in Sept. we were engaged, Oct. I was pregnant, and in June 2001 we had our older boy :) Yeah, we moved fast, I know. lol But if you can sit and talk to someone about everything and anything (with nothing physical going on, well, not at first, lol, I'm extremely fertile apparently), have HORSE interest in common, and throw pop caps at each other for TWO HOURS while talking, you know there's something there. lol We had started the annulment process because me being Catholic, in order to have the marriage blessed in a Catholic Church (he's Methodist), he was married before and we had to have an annulment. But after only meeting twice with the priest (who I was sooo unimpressed with anyhow), he basically waived his hand at us and said, you already have a kid, you might as well just go downtown and have a civil service. Nice huh?? Yeah, we thought so too. So instead of having a huge wedding and feeding a ton of people we never see and don't know us anyhow, we decided to go to Vegas. Where else can you wear cowboy hats IN CHURCH?? I think I wrote about that in a separate post before. (this old age is catching up to me, lol) So we flew out, my friend that lived there was the bridesmaid, the friend (who I dated) flew out too and was the best man and a bunch of my family went out. Basically everyone except my one sister in MS. It was a blast and a time we'll obviously never forget. Since my dear hubby got us a new printer that scans as well, hehe, I can scan in my pictures now!! So here there are:

First things first, picture of the the church, Little Church of the West. It has some really really famous people who have gotten married there. I liked it best because it was about the only church in Vegas that wasn't sterile white! It was more cozy.



Here is a picture of my famous footwear, lol. I didn't have a western dress, but I sure did have some white Justin lacers!! I had to fold my boot socks over the top though because the little lace hooks on the top of the boot kept catching on my little poofy slip, and I didn't want that snagging. So yeah, this was the solution and everyone thought it was so funny.



No Vegas wedding would be complete without some Elvis. He was excellent. Here he was, after sweating (he really wasn't) he tapped his face and then wrapped it around my neck and so I was swooning. Can you tell? lol It amused everyone there too. Even Elvis and the priest.



Here we are, the newly married happy couple.



This is my most favoritest picture of us.



Here we are with Elvis:



Here is the wedding party:



And that about does it. We are still here and happy 6 years later. I say you just can't beat a destination wedding. Fast, fun, and totally worth it.

Flippin Friday Funnies

I had a personal funny to share with you all that I was thinking about last night, but now I can't think of what it was!! lol I was talking with my dad about it, and he had asked if I wrote it down because he had just run across the book that my mom used to write funny things down that we had said when we were little. Unfortunately I had been, but that log is on my computer at work :( So, that was a mistake of mine. I always figured I would have quit and would have had enough time to transfer, print or copy anything that I needed. Guess not. Oh well.

Here's a funny one, but not the one I was thinking of. We decided to get a harness for our big dog and muzzles for all three so that we could take them for walks (they are getting C-H-U-N-K-Y) and feel a little safer that nothing will happen. We can't afford for anything to happen again. So I had bought the harness for big dog first. HA. It says extra large on it. How much bigger than extra large can you get? Well, it only goes up to 38 inches around her chest (girth, lol) area. Yeah. I tried to put it on her last night and um, it only went about half way up her sides. Yeah. So I got out the measuring tape and she's freaking 44 inches around!!!!! I'm like holy crap! This girl DEFINITELY needs to start walking. So today I set out to find a harness (an ACTUAL XL one) that fits. First pet store, only had a harness up to 40 inchs. I'm like well, we could try to squeeze it on her, but I didn't want to do that. Guy at the counter told me I'd probably have to special order one. I doubt my dog is the biggest dog ever, so I left with a little ball throwing stick instead. (I'm easily distracted when I shop. Not a good thing) Was just going to go home and re-measure her juuuust in case that 40 incher would work. On the way home is another pet store, so for giggles I stopped there. Came out with a harness that goes up to 46 inches and two muzzles. Went home. Muzzle for little dogs is too little. Harness fits big dog. Muzzle for big dog (after she stopped bucking and trying to flip over to get it off) may be just a teensy bit too big. She's such a strange fit though because her nose is somewhat shorter because of the mastiff in her, but she's not as chunky in her face (face flaps) as a mastiff. So it might be hard to fit her muzzle. Anyhow, having a dog with a 44 inch girth makes hubby feel good about his waist, which really isn't that big anyhow, but you know.

Here are this weeks friday funnies. (and if I remember my other one, I may edit it later to add it, lol)

It all makes sense now! Life.

On the first day, God created the dog and said:

'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.'

The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?'

So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said:

'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a 20 year life span.'

The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for 20 years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back 10 like the dog did?'

And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said:

'You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of 60 years.'

The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for 60 years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?'

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man and said:

'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you 20 years.'

But man said: 'Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my 20, the 40 the cow gave back, the 10 the monkey gave back, and the 10 the dog gave back, that makes 80, okay?'

'Okay,' said God, 'You asked for it.'

So that is why for our first 20 years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next 40 years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next 10 years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last 10 years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.
______________________________

Things Got Ya Down? Well then, consider these.

In a hospital's Intensive Care Unit, patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 am, regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had something to do with the super natural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths occurred around 11:00 am Sunday, so a worldwide team of experts was assembled to investigate the cause of the incidents. The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11:00 am all of the doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books, and other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits. Just when the clock struck 11:00, Pookie Johnson, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so he could use the vacuum cleaner.

Still Having a Bad Day????

The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez Oil spill in Alaska was $80,000.00. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.

Still think you are having a Bad Day????

A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.

Are Ya OK Now? - No?

Two animal rights defenders were protesting the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany. Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly. The two helpless protesters were trampled to death.

What?!? STILL having a Bad Day????

Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb.
It came back with 'Return to Sender' stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits. God is Good!

There now, Feeling Better?
____________________________

Confessions (wish I would have had these last October when I had my post about going to confession, lol)

A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, "I almost had an affair with another woman."

The priest said, "What do you mean, almost?"

The Irishman said, "Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped."

The priest said, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put £50 in the poor box."

The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box.

He paused for a moment and then started to leave.

The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, "I saw that you didn't put any money in the poor box!"

The Irishman replied, "Yeah, but I rubbed the £50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in!"

*************

There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession.

Upon entering the confessional, she said, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned."

The priest said, "Confess your sins and be forgiven."

The young woman said, "Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times."

The priest thought long and hard and then said, "Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice."

The young woman asked, "Will this cleanse me of my sins?"

The priest said, "No, but it will wipe that smile off your face."

************
(My favorite joke!)

Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company.

One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, "Father, my dog is dead. Could ya' be saying' a mass for the poor creature?"

Father Patrick replied, "I'm afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church.But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something for the creature."

Muldoon said, "I'll go right away Father. Do ya think £5,000. is enough to donate to them for the service?"

Father Patrick exclaimed, "Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus!! Why didn't ya tell me the dog was Catholic?"

************

An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues:

Man: "I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college girls, hitchhiking. We went to a motel, where I had sex with each of them three times."

Priest: "Are you sorry for your sins?"

Man: "What sins?"

Priest: "What kind of a Catholic are you?"

Man: "I'm Jewish."

Priest: "Why are you telling me all this?"

Man: "I'm 92 years old .... I'm telling everybody."
____________________________

And last but definitely not least....

A class of five-year old students are learning to read.

One of them pointed at a picture in a zoo book and said,

"Look at this! It's a frickin' elephant!"

The teacher took a deep breath, then asked..."What did you call it?"

"It's a frickin' elephant! It says so on the picture!"

And so it does...



" A f r i c a n Elephant "

Hooked on phonics! Ain't it wonderful?

Kids. Anything to do with kids is great. lol

It's supposed to be 80 here ALL weekend long!! I think I might plant my new pink flowers in my new cowboy boot planters. And we're going to ride LOTS this weekend for sure. It's our 6th wedding anniversary tomorrow, so we are going to try to go out to eat by ourselves. At Red Lobster :) That's our tradition. We've went to Red Lobster every year since we've gotten married. Have a great weekend. I know I will be.

Can't think of a good title

I hate that title thing sometimes. If I want to get on and just talk, do I say thursday talk? lol I suppose I could.

Anyhow, update on riding last night....it went really good. Only took a few little tries to get her to lope to the left. Of course she got all hot and squirly after that because apparently that's not what SHE wanted to do, but she did it and I stopped after getting her to take the left lead twice. Ended on a good note. She was a good girl. IS a good girl I should say. My husband kept telling me I'd better let her just stop and calm down, but the trainer said not to because then she knows to get hot and snorty and throwing her head will get her to not do anything. I pushed a little more, but not too much and let her stop when she did it right. So hopefully I'm reinforcing the good. Rode again today. I didn't lope though. I figured I'd change it up a little so that it's not the same thing all the time and she expects to lope and starts her little jumping around. I do know last night though that my husband said when we were loping to the left, while we were loping she would try to do this funky little two step thing that would get her back on the wrong lead. Very strange. So as long as I keep her going and don't let her slow down too much, she can't do it, it's only when we slow down enough for her to do it.

As some of you may notice, I decided to go back public. Like I said before, I really have nothing to hide from anyone. If people want to be nosey, so be it. If I didn't want everyone to know everything then I guess I shouldn't have started a blog I suppose. :) I will still be irritated, but oh well.

I'm going to say this. I'm kind of impressed with my son's school. It is a catholic school, but it's well worth it and today definitely made me feel a little better. I'm not going to say I have nothing to do with school, but I definitely don't volunteer and participate as much as I should be. My mom was in the PTA and everyone knew her and she was always a room mother. With a full time job, that was a little difficult for me. I could take some time to drive on field trips, and I did, but that was about it. Today I went to the office to see if it was too late to turn in the lunch order form for May since it was due yesterday. I'm such a slacker. I let my older one order lunch once a week so that he has change from the humdrum everyday peanut butter sandwhich. He enjoys it and I know he gets a good meal and really, it's only $2.50 and that includes milk. So I think it's worth it. So anyhow, I was lazy and my little man had only slippers on. So when we got to the office he said he would just stand in the hall so no one would look at his slippy's. I didn't think anyone would see, so as I was going in the door, he was just peering in through the glass next to it. I kind of waved my hand for him to come in, and the receptions said "Is that Tater out there?" lol I was like how the heck does she know him?? I wouldn't be able to pick that lady out of a lineup and she's asking if it's tater without even seeing him. So I'm impressed that these people actually know me AND know tater's name. lol Then, as we were leaving, there was the 2nd grade teacher who my son doesn't have, and she startes talking to us. I honestly don't think I've ever even talked to her, and it's not my son's teacher, but when we were heading out the door, she says "Bye Tater!!" He looks at me and screams (gotta love kids) "How does SHE know MY name???" She says "well, I know your big brother lucas and he talks about you ALL the time because he loves you!" Tater says "he's GOT to stop talking about me momma." lol I'll have to see what it is he's saying about him. But my point is, these people actually care enough to know who we are, and that makes me really happy. I don't expect them to and I really don't think in public schools that this sort of thing happens all that often. Of course, most parents any more just send their kids to school and treat it as a daycare, so you never see the parents anyhow. No one goes to parent teacher conferences anymore. My sister's got a senior this year (my niece) and when my sister went to parent teacher conferences, the teacher was surprised because no one (parents) ever goes. THAT is sad.

By the way, if anyone has any good idea for school lunches, I'm open for suggestions. lol He takes peanut butter sandwhiches and salads once in awhile. They do have a microwave, so I've started getting him little ravioli bowl type things, like Chef Boyarde. They work, but that cost adds up too and I might as well just let him buy lunches more often. Oh well. Like I said, if you have any ideas, let me know :))

It's supposed to be 80 here this weekend. It's definitely starting to finally warm up. I can't wait to give the girls the first bath of the year. They are so dirty!! And I think it would help with shedding, although they are starting to have less and less hair each day. Have a great day all!! I'm going to start trying to catch up on all my blogs since I'll be having a little more time now.

Miscellaneous Midweek thoughts

I now should be able to start settling down here. I won't know what to do with myself! It will be just me and my little guy until schools out. Well, unless I find employment before then. I want to just relax a little bit for once. What would be even nicer would be to find something I'm good at, that I can set my own schedule and do my thing on my own time :)) I'm not like that though, I'm more of a behind the scenes someone that likes to help, but not be the main focus.

So until then, here are some misc things. Awhile back on one of my other posts, I had mentioned cakes that I had made for the boys for their birthdays. Well, we had to get a new printer (ours took a dive with no return) and my dear hubby decided to go shopping for a new one while I was out. I'm glad it was him instead of me because I would have bought the cheapest thing that printed and got the job done. He however, instead got one that has print, copy AND scan!! If I had gotten his text message while at the horse show (no reception in the building), we would have also had faxing capabilities. But he declined the last option. In any case, I was able to scan the picture of my sons birthday cakes that I had made for their first birthdays. My mom was a cake decorator and did many many wedding cakes and other event cakes. Needless to say, we as kids hated cake. lol For our birthdays we would get cherry cheesecake :) Still do to this day even though I'm more agreeable with cakes now. Without further ado, here are my lovely creations that I'm very proud of.

This was my very first cake. (I've only done two, lol!!) For my older boy's first birthday. It took me about two days to make. The cake itself was a cinch, the frosting on the other hand is what got me. Anyone that decorates cakes will tell you that you can't just use that can stuff. You make your own little powdered sugar concoction. Well, I couldn't find my mom's recipe and my sister's (who used to help my mom) recipe went something like "add some water, some powdered sugar, a little bit of vanilla", etc. Nothing specific at all, which is what I NEED since I cannot cook. lol. It turned out pretty good eventually.



This is the cake for my younger guy. I got a little more daring the second time around. No just smearing on frosting on a portion. Nope. Millions of little dots it was. Again, I think it turned out pretty good. (Yes, I'm tooting my own horn)



Let me tell you, true red and blue frosting is a $*!&# to make! I think I used a whole little tub of the dye gel stuff. Anyhow, I'm glad I did it. Everyone like them and I know I could at least do one little special thing for my kids to make their birthdays special.

Let's see, what else? The horse show went well and was fun to be at. I was lamenting about how I wished when I was picking out a career, that I had known about equine things. In hind sight though, I guess my little $15k in student loans is better than $25k for ONE YEAR. Yeah.

Here's a good one. I went grocery shopping this morning, first time in about 3 weeks, and I see these hot fire fighters in there shopping. The grocery store is less than a block away from the fire house, so this isn't an unusual sight really. well, I happened to turn the corner down the ice cream isle and what do I see but the cutest one there. He comes out of the little freezer door and looks at me and OMG. I know him. lol!!! I went to high school with him and he was my major time high school crush. Who didn't know I was alive, but that's ok. A girl could dream. He was, I believe, like 3 years ahead of me. He was Coming Home King (Home Coming was the Queen) his senior year. And, I just happen to be friends with an aunt of his (well, my mom was, when she died though me and this lady bonded). hehe. I was kind of frumpy looking or I would have been like "hey, Gary right?" hehehe. Then he would have run the other way thinking who is this freak and how the heck does she know my name?? lol Anyhow. It was nice to see he was a fire fighter. I really don't remember what it was that he wanted to be, but it definitely suits him :))

Going out to ride my girl for the first time in about a week. In my post about it all coming together, I mentioned that it was nutty how I was essentially doing things backwards and someone had asked what happened because it might help them too. Let me start off with the fact that I'm glad I have someone there to help me. I think that is about the best thing. It's almost like a doctor. You can self diagnose all you want, but there just might be something missing that only someone else can see. Anyhow, on my first lesson trainer asked what I wanted to work on. I said whatever you see wrong I guess because I don't really know. We'd been plodding around for about a year now, so I guess it was time to start fine tuning. So the first thing she told me was to tip my girls nose in and do a circle. Um, not to sound dumb or anything, but I've heard so many people tell me to tip her nose in, but I didn't really understand. Because when I did what I thought was tipping her nose in, we'd do almost a 90 degree turn. No arc whatsoever. So I said that to her. What I'd been doing all along was attempting to just use my legs, not a bad thing, and try to neck rein. I also had so much slack in my reins that I don't know how I ever stopped her when she spooked. When I'd pull back, my hands could have touched behind me probably. lol No contact whatsoever. Also not a horrible thing, but it really needed to be changed. So what I was doing was when I wanted to "circle" or really turn to the left, I'd push my right leg and my right rein against her. She would almost pivot, not just tip her nose and curve. Trainer comes in and says no, you need to first of all tighten up on your reins and have some kind of contact with the bit. (I may not be explaining it all right, but I'm doing my best, lol) Thankfully my girl is really sensitive to any touch that I do. I actually had/have to work on desensitizing her sides so much. as soon as a leg touches her, she goes that way. Not to say that I ride with my legs a foot away from her, but the trainer said I need to be able to put my legs on her without her automatically just moving because it will help to keep her straight and under me. So back to steering. Apparently the way to do it (and the way that works better) is that you actually keep your hands even apart and move them off to the opposite side that you are going. Strange huh? So if I want to go left, instead of putting my right rein on her neck and pushing her to the left with my right leg, I actually move my reins back a little and up towards my right shoulder, all while keeping them even to have even pressure on the bit. That puts pressure on the left rein (like direct pressure) to tip her nose to the left, which she in turn follows. Horses follow their noses. But it didn't create a 90 degree angle like my other way of doing it did. I did my first actual circle and it was crazy. So every ride since then, we practice that and switching from going left to going right. do circles, do serpentines, etc. She's so instant with everything too.

Then on to loping. I'm glad to find out it's not just me doing something wrong. We've discussed on here and I've gotten great advice about what could be wrong because she has a hard time with picking up the left lead. I've been making sure to exercise her good to the left to start strengthening that side. I don't know if that's helped a lot or not, but I'm sure it hasn't hurt. During my last lesson trainer asked me if I had worked on loping. I said no because I need to be able to feel what it's like to do it correctly and I don't think I was doing it yet, so I wanted to wait for her to be there so that she could spot me on it. So we worked on loping. My trainer had me set her up (lifting with my reins and while we were going left, I lifted to the right to support her left shoulder) and when we were perfect, I asked for the lope. well, mare amazed the trainer because we still ended up on the wrong lead after some crazy twist and jump that my horse did. The trainer was speechless and said "I can't even describe to you what she did because it was so weird." apparently her body just doesn't know the feel of correctly taking off on the correct lead and she contorts herself and we end up taking off on the wrong lead. So that is something we are going to work on more. I REALLY have to support her and make sure she's in the right position in order for her to pick up the correct lead. But in all this time, she really really tries for me and all the new stuff we are doing, so I can't complain honestly.

Ok, that's all for now. I don't know if I even remotely explained that good enough. It not, and you want me to try again, let me know, lol. Maybe I'll have my hubby video me and I can figure out how to post it. That's all for now and I'll post again maybe tomorrow and let you know how my ride tonight goes :))

Friday Funnies!!

Fooled ya!! I didn't go work the horse show today at Findlay College, but I will be tomorrow, Sunday and Monday instead. So I have time for some Friday Funnies!!!

Before I do that I just want to say, if you get a chance to go see Monsters vs. Aliens in Real D 3D, do it!! I'm also going to say, I don't really understand how people are saying they go see movies now instead of going out to fancy restaurants and take vacations because, well, what we paid WITH coupons and WITH a gift certificate and WITH going for the "cheap" matinee, we basically spent what we would spend on going out to eat TWICE. lol It's so dang expensive. $7.25 for kids, $7.50 for adults at the MATINEE, you know, the "cheap" showing. Then because it was in 3D, it was an extra $3 a person. what?? sheesh!! Then popcorn and pop. I had buy one get one free large popcorn. So we got 2 pops and 2 pop corns. $15!!! What??? sheesh. So yeah. That will be once in a great great great great while type outing for us. We have horses. Those are cheaper entertainment than going to the movies once a day. No, seriously. lol

Ok, without further ado, here are a few Friday Funnies. I'm still working on my stash, so there will be a few less than normal, but still, something to laugh about on this bright and sunny warm day. Here we go:

The Ohio State Trooper:
Two men were driving through Ohio when they got pulled over by a state trooper. The cop walked up and tapped on the window with his nightstick. The driver rolled down the window, and WHACK, the cop smacked him in the head with his nightstick.

"What the hell was that for?" the driver asked.

"You're in Ohio son," the trooper answered. "When we pull you over in Ohio, you better have your license ready by the time we get to your car."

"I'm sorry, officer," the driver said, "I'm not from around here."

The trooper runs a check on the guy's license--he's clean, and gives the guy his license back.

The trooper then walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window.

The passenger rolls down the window, and WHACK, the trooper smacks him on the head with the nightstick.

"What'd you do that for?" the passenger demands.

"Just making your wish come true," replied the trooper.

"Making WHAT wish come true?" the passenger asked.

"I know your type," the trooper says, "two miles down the road, you're gonna turn to your buddy and say, 'I wish he'd would've tried that shit with me!"

(SO true)
_________________________________

The UPS Man
One Monday morning the UPS man is driving the neighborhood on his usual route.
As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were in the
driveway. His wonder was cut short by Bob, the homeowner, coming out with a
load of empty beer and liquor bottles. "Wow. Bob, looks like you guys had one
hell of a party last night, the UPS man comments.

Bob, in obvious pain, replies "Actually we had it Saturday night. This is the
first I have felt like moving since 4:00 am Sunday morning. We had about
fifteen couples from around the neighborhood over for some weekend fun and it
got a bit wild. Hell, we all got so drunk around midnight that we started
playing WHO AM I."

The UPS man thinks a moment and says, "How do you play WHO AM I?" "Well, all
the guys go in the bedroom and we come out one at a time, with a sheet covering
us and only our 'privates' showing through a hole in the sheet. Then the women
try to guess who it is.

"The UPS man laughs and says, "Damn, I'm sorry I missed that."

"Probably a good thing you did," Bob responds.

"Your name came up seven times"
_____________________________

And then the fight started....
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive....
So, I took her to a gas station.....
And then the fight started....

****

My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said,
"Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And then the fight started....

********

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security.
The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age.
I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me'
And she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the
Social Security office.
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten Disability, too'
And then the fight started.....

****

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage .
I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.
The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.
I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'
My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?'
And that's how the fight started ...

****

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I
kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at
A nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'she's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking
right after we split up those many & years ago, and I hear she
hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started.....

****

I rear-ended a car this morning.
So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out
of his car.
You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and
Little things just seem funny?
Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... He was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted,
'I AM NOT HAPPY! !!'
So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'
And then the fight started.....

****

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'
He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'
'Nah, she can order for herself.'
And then the fight started.....

****

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,
'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's darn near perfect.'
And then the fight started.....
______________________

and last but surely not least....
Thoughts of Men and Women

WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee..
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.

Keep reading - they get better!!!
****
WOMEN'S REVENGE
'Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet , I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked..
'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.'
****
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.
****
MARRIAGE SEMINAR
While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, 'It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes.'
He addressed the man, 'Can you name your wife's favorite flower?'
Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, 'It's Pillsbury, isn't it?
****
CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles..
The sales girl notices him and asks him if she c an help him.
He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife...
She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.
She says, confused, 'Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?
He answers, 'You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo- ooo much cheaper.
So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... so does she.
(I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!)
****
WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'
'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'
****
WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...
30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?'
****
CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
'The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
****
WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, 'You should do it because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.
The husband said, 'You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.'
Wife replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.'
Husband replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.'
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says 'HEBREWS'
****
The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.

Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, 'Please wake me at 5:00 AM.' He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.'

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece...
______________________

That's all for now folks. Enjoy your B-UTIFUL day, if you are having one like we are here!

Life and all that comes with it

Ok, this being private thing kind of sucks. Seeing the comments made that no one can tell if there's a new post stinks too. I don't want everyone taking up their time to check all the time to see if I have one if I don't. Although it does make me happy that people want to hear about my posts about nothing. lol Does it really not show up when you log into your blogger dashboard thingy or whatever? I noticed on Adventures of a Horse Crazed Mind that her blog roll shows my last update was two friday's ago. So, I will have to contemplate going back public and not caring who sees what. I would hope the people at my ex-place of employment would have better things to do, but sometimes I know they don't. My ex-coworker STILL spies on a coworker that had quit about a year ago. So I know SHE doesn't have anything better to do. I don't think she knew I had a blog, but if my loose lipped boss told her, then she will. Not that I care, I don't work there anymore. Hmmmm. Ok. Maybe I will end up going back.

So I have not had any further blogs since my Easter bunny discovered post. Which still makes me laugh and giggle at my goofy children. Big one is almost 8. I don't know sometimes if he knows and just plays along or if he really doesn't know. Honestly I don't remember how old I was when I found out. Ok, I should say when I found out and when I believed there wasn't. Because I think my friend and I discussed it once that we kept hearing Santa wasn't real, but we really didn't believe he wasn't real, so we tried to ignore everyone. Denial is the first step right? lol We were goofy kids. I think her mom had her read that book, "Yes Virginia, there is a Santa" and we just agreed to say there was a real Santa at one point, but that was a long time ago, so parents have to help him, or something silly like that. Our Easter was ok. My dad hid plastic Easter eggs with some candy in it so that way I could at least take SOME pictures of something Easter to put in a scrapbook. Since I didn't get pictures of the boys taking their Easter goodies out of the Walgreens bags. lol Then when we get out there to find the eggs, I start taking pictures and after the third picture, my camera battery dies. Just my luck right? Nothing else went as planned, why should that?? lol I just kept turning the camera back on and telling the kids to freeze every time they found an egg so that I could get a pictures quick before it turned off.

I've been so slammed this past week. Monday and Tuesday I was so busy trying to get everything ready for Virginia, Tuesday around noon they turned off our gas so we had no hot water or heat, and they didn't turn it on until Wednesday evening around 6pm, so I spent from 6pm to about 10 pm trying to do every piece of laundry we had so I got everything for the trip. Thurs and Friday I went to Lansing (about 2 hours away) for the horse show to help the photographer. Then Friday my husband and I figured that we wouldn't be able to spend a whole lot of time together because things on the work sight weren't going quite as planned and it was taking a lot longer, so no point in us wasting gas and wear and tear on vehicle to just not see him anyhow. So we didn't end up going to VA. I crashed on Saturday. I had to go clean stalls. Sunday my dad went to the barn with me and we rode and picked stalls again. Then we had a nice Easter dinner with us and the boys. I saved some HoneyBaked ham for the hubby though so he could get some. Sunday night I went through the paper and applied for 2 more jobs. Unemployment requires you to apply to at least 2 jobs a week. But I highly doubt with so many people being off that they will check. But I still want a job so I will do what it takes. If my dumb printer was working, I could have applied for a third. Why can't everyone just be electronic?? lol Then Monday I relaxed. Go some dishes done. Hung out with my big guy who's out of school for spring break this week. Yesterday we just hung out. At lunch I got a call that little guy was hitting everyone in school and that I needed to come get him. I'm tired of that place. The only reason Tater's going there is to learn how to get along with other kids. I can teach him his abc's, colors and shapes at home, but I cannot teach him how to be with other kids unless he's with other kids. And he's starting kindergarten this fall. Kind of important to be able to behave with other kids. I also got some inside info that they do kind of target him. I was told that if a kid isn't behaving and they are ornery (like most 5 year olds are) they will call the parents to come get them and make up reasons why the kid was bad or they will just say the kid is sick. Nice huh? yeah. They keep asking if my unemployment has went through or what we are doing (they said that to me first thing as I went to pick him up yesterday for getting in trouble) and I just told her I don't know yet. I do know. I believe I will be getting it and that my ex-employer won't be fighting it and I will be getting the state max amount, but I don't think I want him to go back there. Schools going to be hard enough as it is without him having a sign over his head. So, we will begin the search allllll over again for a decent daycare for him for if/when I get a job and over the summer for both of them. yipee. not.

Then yesterday we got food poisoning from Taco Bell (now known as Toxic Hell). I love taco bell with a passion. We eat it all the time without incident. But yesterday, man oh day. I had nachos and taco supreme and my big guy had a regular taco. Well, I didn't eat my taco supreme and gave it to my dad. Yeah, later on all three of us were sick to our stomachs. Little guy didn't have any and he's fine. Big guy threw up around 8pm. I made myself throw up at 10:30pm because I was jealous of big one feeling better, lol, and my dad informed me this morning when he came over that he wishes he had made himself too because he's miserable. What a great daughter I am, poisoning my dad. lol.

Our hermit crab moved on as well. Stupid me kept seeing that he didn't have water and uh, kept saying that I'd do it in a minute and kept forgetting. I found his poor little body outside of his shell in his water dish :( Rest in peace hermit crab.

Well, that's it in a nutshell. Hubby is coming home today. I'm supposed to have a lesson, which by the way has been going EXCELLENT. I will make my next post all about that instead of gross stuff and my whining. lol The trainer is just astounded at what my girl does when she goes to pick up her left lead in a lope. So I'll attempt to explain all that good stuff, and go back through to our "ah-ha!!!" moment when it all clicked and what I was doing wrong as well. So, talk to everyone in a bit. I have another horse show to watch this weekend, thankfully a LOT closer than 2 hours away. It was miserable getting up at 4:30 am to leave by 5:30 and get to the place at 7:30. Only to leave at 9:30 at night and get home at 11:30 to do it all again the next day! lol So that won't be the case this time. Friday funnies may have to wait another week as well. I'm kind of liking this being lazy thing for once. Do you know, it's been over 15 years since I didn't have a job to go to? Aside from 8 weeks off and barely 6 weeks off when I had the boys, I've worked solid jobs since I was 15, and heck, I even went to college during that time as well!! So, for the time being, I'm kind of enjoying not HAVING to go out to a job that I truly disliked. When I find my next one, it will be better for sure :) Enjoy your day all!!

Easter bunny discovered

But thankfully not over though. So I went shopping yesterday morning and got all the goodies to make the boys small easter baskets to take to virginia for the easter bunny to give them. Unfortunately shortly after I got home, I got a call from the daycare saying that my little guy was sick and he had to go home. He had a temperature of 101 or so and he's been having one on and off for the past week and 1/2 or so. So, I hurried up and put everything into my bedroom in a corner behind some stuff and went to get him. After I got home I called the doctor to make an appointment since this thing he's got just wasn't going away. The appt was right at the same time I was supposed to get big guy from school, so I called my dad and he went to get him from school while I took little guy to the dr. Unfortunately as soon as I walked in the door from the doctors (little guy has another ear infection, grrrr), big guy comes tearing out of the living room screaming, "THE EASTER BUNNY CAME!!! THE EASTER BUNNY CAME!!!!!" I was like oh. Really?? I look at my dad and he mouths "sorry! I went down to the basement just for a second." Well, for the first time EVER, big guy decided to change out of his school clothes as soon as he got home and unfortunately, his dresser with shirts is in my bedroom right where the easter stuff was. I have to yell at that boy constantly to change out of his school clothes and the one time he WANTS to, of course there's something there. So I just acted really excited and said yay!! Then he asked why the easter bunny left the easter grass in the bag (lol, I just said that lazy bunny!!!) and why there weren't eggs anywhere (I usually hide easter eggs with a couple pennies, stickers or little candies in them, well, didn't get a chance to!!). I was like oh, well, he was probably in such a hurry to get you your baskets before you left. lol So yeah. He didn't question if the easter bunny exists though, so safe for this time!! lol

Thank you all for being interested in my blog. I hated to make it private because I really don't have a whole lot to hide. I just don't want my creepy ex-empoyers reading about my life since they weren't too interested about what I had to say before giving me the boot Friday. After everything is over and done with there (I'm trying to get unemployment and I really won't know for sure if I can get it for about 2-3 weeks) before I get back to normal. So thanks for bearing with me. And in all honesty, I thought I'd have all sorts of time on my hands to get things done around the house and be sitting blogging, but I really havn't surprisingly. The kids and life's other little surprises (getting the gas turned off at the house of all times when it's snowing and 30 degrees) have kept me rolling and on my toes. So hopefully things will settle down soon. I have a horse show to go watch a photographer with this thurs and friday and then we'll be leaving sat for Virginia until tuesday when we come back. Then I have another show NEXT thursday through sunday to watch. So I'll be super busy then too. Just crazy I tell ya!!

Have a great day and hope someone else out there is keeping warm :)

Missing...

Ok, I'm sure you may have noticed something missing from my blog. (or maybe not, who knows) Figure it out? Riiiight. Friday Funnies this week. Unfortunately, my services were unexpectedly no longer needed at my place of employment (read: got fired), and the post I had ready to go, I didn't get a chance to post first. So you will have to wait a week or two for the continuation of Friday Funnies. Yesterday wasn't too funny to me (well, maybe in some senses) and honestly I was quite busy between going to my ex-employer to clean out my office and going to my first job interview an hour later :) SO, since I now have all the time in the world on my hands (for the time being), I will try to have something good for next week.

Have a great day!!

My Goodies

(This copy and paste thing is working wonderfully!! I can write here and there, then post at once and not have to use my entire lunch on just my post! ) The time has come for me to FINALLY show you all my magical wonderful handmade hat from Mrs. Lisa at Laughing Orca ranch. (I’ll get to a post someday about the magic solution my trainer gave me last week, lol) Waaaaaaaaaaay back when, she had an alphabet challenge and the price was an awesome hat and scarf set made by her crafty hands. When the challenge was all said and done, she picked her winner for the hat and scarf set. But then she surprised everyone who completed the challenge and made us all a hat or scarf!! I got mine in a lovely sparkly lavender color. Without further ado, here I am (please excuse the thing peeking out from under the hat making it look not nearly as pretty as it really is, lol) This hat is SO warm, that I actually got toasty just putting it on for the pictures. It did wonders out at the barn when we were having our -15F degree temps too. I’ll admit one thing, I kinda felt like a bank robber, but a nice looking one. Hehe I always thought I looked funny with stocking caps on, but with this one, I don’t care what I look like, I’m WARM!!!! So thank you, thank you, thank you Mrs. Lisa for taking the time to make me that lovely, warm, gorgeous hat just for reading your interesting and way informative blogs about everything from A to Z, literally. I really, really enjoy your blog and I’m so glad to have “met” you online. I send 100 million good wishes your way that things will get back to normal for you and you have the courage and desire to get back on your pretty painted girl :) My second goody is the bandages that I won on The Funky Monkey. I couldn’t believe it!! I never win ANYTHING and it was like my 3rd or 4th contest I think that I entered into and I won. To give you a good example of my luck, my cousin and I went to the scrapbooking weekend (I’m going to try to take some pictures of some of the pages I did and post them, some day!) and we’ve been going for about 3 years and it’s twice a year. Ok? Well, you get tickets each day that you attend (1, 2 or 3 days and 10 tickets each day) for you to put into gift baskets full of goodies. You can pick and choose or put a ticket in all the baskets. They also have a basket that they put tickets that didn’t win a basket into for massages that a massage school comes to do throughout the weekend. My cousin and I NEVER win. Not even the freaking massages. And they give out like 5 of those for every basket they draw from. So this weekend, they also had ways to get extra tickets. Like fill out a “wish list” for the Creative Memories consultant to give to your loved ones for your birthdays and such, or you could schedule a crop class at your house, or whatever. So my cousin and I do the wish list. The ticket from the wish lists got put into a basket for a free scrapbooking weekend ($80 value) for the fall. Yeah right. We’d never win. We had been joking around that maybe we should leave and we might win because it seemed like everyone that won wasn’t there. They were out to eat or getting massages or swimming or whatever. Anyhow, Sunday rolls around and we had to leave before the drawing, but you didn’t have to be present to win. Two and a half hours later when they did the drawing, who do you think got a call???? NOT ME!!!! MY COUSIN!!!! I’m happy for her, really, but DANG! lol!! So yeah, that’s our luck and I personally never win anything, so getting the hat Lisa made for me and winning the bandages on The Funky Monkey make them all the more special to me. The bandages (I can’t call them Bandaids because that’s a brand name, and these are not those) came in three styles seen below. For the blog, she lists things you can do to get entered and one of them was list which one you would want. I figured that’s the one that I would get. Nope!! She sent me ALL THREE!!! We now have Teen-Ages for boys, Teen-Ages for girls and Own-Ages which is the create your own decorations. As you can see here, the Own-Ages come in 5 colors and 3 markers to decorate as you please. Here is a picture of my little one showing off said boo-boo that NEEDED a bandage (according to him). (which one do I want to use?? Decisions, decisions) He picked the Own-Age bandages to cover it. What did he do? He picks the pink one and colors the entire thing blue, seen here: Creative one, isn’t he? lol He’s his daddy’s boy, we’ll just say that. yeah. Well, then he decided he wanted a bath, so of course said bandage had to come off and he HAD to put a new on after his bath and here is that one:



I also took a little video of him coloring his pink bandage blue, but I still haven’t mastered the posting videos thing yet. Some day. Because I also took video of my Sassie and her roll/buck and fart routine that caused us great laughter when Sis attempted it. That’s ok. Another time. So that’s all there is, there ain’t not more. I definitely suggest going to The Funky Monkey and taking 10 seconds to peep at all her giveaways and sign up for things you might want. You never know when you might actually win. If I did, YOU certainly can too!! Have a great day, and stop back by tomorrow for my Friday Funnies. As usual, I hope to not disappoint!